SO CALLED SPOILER WARNING! TW: RAPEUPDATEIm on the third chapter, and already these things have occured:- "metaphysical" x 3- "Who, me?" x 2 (well, the other is a bit of a strech... :-))- "hard" and "tight" x who knows? (not in the sense you're thinking of though, thank goodness)- overly describing boytoy's looks x 1- "it was as if" x 2- someone could do something "like a sonofabitch" x 1- Anita being bitchy and needy and gets praise from someone she hasn't earned it from x 2- a gun is mentioned/described x 2 (and she lef the office to go to a movie...)Extra points for calling your male lover, who also happens to be (or should be) a badass vampire a "sweetie".Okay, so here's the PROPER PREVIEW, brace yourselves.The first thing that comes to mind when thinking about Shitblake and her gathering of new powers and animals to call is the South Park's episode in which Cartman's trapper keeper gets out of hand. You know the one? Well, I'll add a picture, this, to me, is Shitblake with her powers.Here are my thoughts about the book.1. The characters. As everyone who has read their fair share of Shitblake knows, the characters are there to boost up Anita's self-esteem and praise her for eternity. They are all made of cardboard and they are only described by what color is their hair and eyes, how surprisingly masculine they all are, the size of their peens and how much leather and frills they wear. They all have more or less tragic histories, and Anita is the only way to heal mentally... This is how I see them as I listen to these "books". (this is also the last picture so don't fret)2. LKH's writing style is mind-bogglingly repetitive. As an example, I'll add some stats here. These figure are, if anything, an under-estimate due to my reading app's inability to count words this repetitive correctly.Remember, this book has only about 330 pages according to the format I managed to get. So some variations will occur if you compare this to your book, Im sure."It was as if" x 29, 4 times in one page at best (term used loosely)"metaphysic*" x 41"spill*" x 28 (I'd say 99% of these used during sex scenes)"tight" x 89"my opening" x 5"length of him" (=peen) x 2"feel of him" (=peen) x 4, 3 times in one page"tip of him" (=peen) x 3"love" x 114"power" x 200Word power is repeated the most, it appears 10 times, 8 times, 14 (!!!) times and again 10 times in single pages. Not only are single words and phrases repeated, info-dumping is repeated as well. You hear the same things over many, MANY times. To a point you know LKH doesn't even remember what she has told already and what not. Also the famous "look a man gets" presented three times: "He laid back and watched me with that look a man can get—the look that is part sex, part possession, part just male. It's not a look that has much to do with love, not the kind that includes hearts and flowers anyway, but it has everything to do with being together, being real.""He looked down at me, with blood spilling down his face, but his eyes filled with that look that a man gets. That look that says, mine, sex, more, less than that.""I glared at him, and he stared at me. Those dark, deep-set eyes stared at my face, and then his gaze slid down the front of my body in that way that men can do. That look that slides over you so that you know they're thinking about you naked, or worse." 3. The book is all about celebrating rape, rapeyness and rape culture. Some quotes (no page numbers in these either, sorry):"Hurt her how?""The usual. She was a virgin and they didn't do enough foreplay." "It happens," I said."But the girl claimed that when she told him it hurt, he didn't stop." "Sounds like buyer's remorse to me, Edward.""I said that I'd do him, not that I'd kill him. After everything he'd just said, I figured rape would scare him enough to get him out of here.""You don't like guys," I said."You don't know what I like. You've worked hard not to know. My pride's hurt, but I'll get over it. But Joseph would believe anything of Jean-Claude's people, even male-on-male rape.""You're bleeding, Anita. I fucked you so hard you're bleeding." ///"I'm not hurt, Richard, or at least no more than I wanted to be." Truthfully, maybe I was more hurt than I wanted to be. A pleasant ache between the legs was fine, but I was starting to hurt somewhere close to my belly button. That usually meant you'd overdone it. But I couldn't say that to Richard. ///He frowned at me. "You sound like you've done this before.""I've had cramping before—not this bad, truthfully—but it faded.""Micah." He said the name like it was a curse."Yes." I was tired of protecting Richard's ego. Frankly, in that moment, I was tired of Richard."He always gets there before I do.""There isn't a single thing that Micah got to do that you didn't have the chance to do first.""My fault again," he said."Your choices," I said. I couldn't keep the strain out of my voice. Fine, let him know how much I was hurting.4. This book is, as usual for LKH, terribly misogynistic and sexist. Some quotes:"I wanted to let it go, God knew I did, but I couldn't. I was a girl and I couldn't let it go.""Nathaniel needed to belong to someone; now he belongs to you. I get that. But what did he do for you?""I needed a wife," I said."What?""I needed a 1950s wife to make my life run smooth. I needed someone to be my wife, and he's really good at it.""Lisandro nodded. "I've got a record, too, juvie, but some bad stuff on it. My wife straightened me out. I think you could do the same for him.""What, a good woman is all a bad boy needs to straighten his life out?" "If the woman has something that the man wants bad enough, yeah."""Only love of a good woman will make a man question every choice, every action. Only love makes a warrior hesitate for fear that his lady will find him cruel. Only love makes a man both the best he will ever be, and the weakest. Sometimes all in the same moment."And some random gems:"Truthfully, I'd thought his therapist would be on my side, but BDSM was no longer considered an illness. It was just another alternative lifestyle. Damn it.""I settled for the truth, which crosses the lips like jagged glass, as if you should bleed when you say it."The saddest part is, this isn't even the worst book. This, at least, had a plot of some kind. Phew, finally I got this off my chest. I apologize for the possible typos and such, but Im too tired to check. I hope this review is at least readable.
2.5 stars.This book is actually very similar to the previous ones when it comes to writing style, pacing and everything else, so if you liked those, you will probably like this one too.But I am starting to get tired of Anita. Too tired!The truth is, I have very fond memories from this series, discussing it with my friends, complaining about Anita and simply talking about our favorite boys. Therefore I have always been too generous when rating these books. But I think, I am losing the ability to fool myself. I can no longer overlook these big holes and flaws that stare at me every time I start to read a new Anita Blake story. I always did have conflicted feelings when rating these novels. Some of the characters like Jean claude and Asher are very precious to me. But I can no longer even enjoy reading about my favorite boys. Jean claude is supposed to be the Master of the city and yet everyone has started to see Anita as the main power, not him and hot even the entire paranormal community together. It’s all about Anita. Asher used to be a wounded flawed character but a strong one. Now all he gets do when he is actually present is bitch and whine. These vampires are supposed to be ancient. I expect them to act matured and have patience. I can’t bare how their characters are ruined to be weaker than Anita and under her domain. So many new characters are added in each book that old ones don’t really get to shine anymore. They are just there or mentioned in passing. It was hard for me to accept 6 men in Anita’s life but I became used to it. In invested in this paranormal universe! I became fond of every single one of them, from Jean clause and Richard to Asher, Jason, Micah and Nathaniel.But what’s the point if I don’t really get to see them do anything useful or important to the story? They are just pawns to Anita’s power and lust. I hate characters that do everything by themselves and pretend to need everyone else while controlling and manipulating them and that's exactly what Anita is.The idea of this book looked pretty amazing at the beginning. An attack by Harlequins sounded very cool, intense and full of potential but there is hardly any direct interaction between the old gang and Harlequins. Any real vampire-related action happens at the last 50 pages of the book. The rest is all about Anita and her sex life and her whining about it. Not to mention, most of the time, characters are talking to each other and simply inform the reader what has happened or what is going on. Seriously…they are just TALKING!Hey Anita, Jean claude is talking to vampire council, trying to save all our lives and convince them of our innocence. Hey Anita, Asher has taken over the things, he is doing something big to get help. Hey Anita, Micah did something too. Did I mention Nathaniel held you hand? That’s a lot. Jason? Oh, he arrived once to say hello and cry on you. God, I am annoyed! I am just told about what’s going on and then I am supposed to endure pages about Anita’s clothing and what she decides to wear!Yeah, I am losing patience with her. Anita is the same old sexist, judgmental, hypocritical self-centered character that I remember her to be. The supposably strong heroine who actually wants to be a boy and looks down on other girls and anything remotely feminine. She needs a wife because she is too cool to do housework and that what wives are for! And she can’t spend time on her hair because that’s what girls do! Give me a break! Then I have to tolerate being inside her head while she decides on what to wear for her next sexual congress.Once again, everybody loves HER from 16 years old boys to ancient creatures. The world revolves around her and her sex life and she alone has all the power in the world to defeat all the bad guys and everyone else are just her tools or her sex partners.Harlequin sounds like a very interesting plot because YOU have a good imaginative mind and YOU are IMAGINING different SCENARIOS with GREAT potential that CAN happen but NEVER WILL! There are tiny developments in some of the relationships. These tiny developments are the only reason I continue reading this series. I became fond of these boys when this series was categorized as Urban fantasy, Paranormal romance and freaking Horror! I say boys because every single female character except Anita is either evil or useless.I am sorry to say that what these books are turning into is pure erotica in a paranormal setting. Your favorite paranormal creatures don’t get to do anything paranormal, they just get to have sex with Anita.I loved this series. I freaking loved it and now I am forced to take my favorite characters and make up my own scenarios and plots for them since these books no longer contain any. Read the summary, get the idea and make up your own story.This book deserves 1. The biased part of my brain insisted on 2(even had the audacity to suggest 3 but I changed it back) and hey, this is the 15th book in the series. By now I know what I am getting into and it’s my own problem if I keep reading.
What do You think about The Harlequin (2007)?
The Harlequin is Anita Blake’s 15th book in the: Vampire Hunter series of PNR action and erotica novels by LKH.The story starts with Malcolm in Anita’s office, telling she will be getting a warrant for the execution of some of his following in The Church of Eternal Life in St. Louis. He has not required blood oaths of the vampires under him, hence he has no ability to keep them from becoming dangerous predators.Anita is known to be homophobic, and we find with long arguments with Nathaniel and Byron she is also not into BDSM as they are. She will get lessons from Asher sometime in the future.On a date with Nathaniel, Anita finds a gift box in the bathroom after a movie with her name on it from a group of vampires belonging to Marmée Noire (Mother of Darkness) called The Harlequin. In the box was a mask signifying that Harlequin were watching as potential adversaries.I used to be a Richard fan, but I have given up. So insecure and immature. I doubt if he’ll ever get over not being human. Gah! Being large is good, big ego is bad, being STUPID is unacceptable. Anita is always angry with him. Flush him!The overwhelming amount of sex from the Danse Macabre was not echoed in this story, and delightfully, there actually was more story to digest. I wish I would have read this on my Kindle to do a word count on I’m sorry. EGAD!I enjoyed this story with less arduer and more action. Olaf was sure eerie. I’m off to get Blood Noir.
—Pete
PB/Urban Fantasy: Arguing is not character development and does not add to the plot. It took me over two months to read this 400 page book. I really loved the first Anita books. There was vampire politics that kinda made sense, potential romance, and I anticipated the next book. Since Narcissist, there is too much metaphysical crap that keeps added to Anita whether it's a new form of lycanthrophe or lover to feed her stupid ardeur. The ardeur should be hot and sexy, but I dread reading it. Sex scenes go on for pages, and yes, she argues with people during sex. Let me give you the gist of this book, and no, it won't ruin it for you. The novel starts out with a plot. Big Bad in town, let's avoid, but if they get in our way, we kill them. The problem is, the bad guy doesn't show up until the end; the very end. Until then, Anita has a date and a misunderstanding with Nathaniel. She goes to see Jean-Claude, but has to wait in his office, with a bunch of vamps who have the hots for her. An argument ensues. JC finally shows up. An argument ensues. Her and her men go to bed and Richard shows up. An argument ensues. The ardeur needs to be fed and Richard and Anita go to the hot tub. The start to have sex and an argument ensues, during sex. Anita is attacked metaphysically and some of her suitors profess love for her. She takes a new lover, and an argument ensues, before, during, and after sex. She is attacked metaphysically and physically and is hospitalized. One by one, more suitors show up. She gets a new form of lycanthrophe (it must be Tuesday). This book is not as bad as Dance, but it is bad. I think part of the problem is that it happens in around 24 hours and it is too much. the first books happen over several days. Richard and Nathaniel need to go. Micah should just leave her. She is so hateful to everyone. She claims to love most of her boyfriends, but she respects none of them. She uses them. Her Id and Ego are huge. She gets mad when people don't want to fed the ardeur and she pretty much rapes weres and vamps attached to her men when she feeds. She, of course, doesn't see it that way. She feels that they should be honored to feed her and reap the pleasure of the ardeur. She may want to deny it, but she is a walking vampire that sucks the lifeforce out of her lovers.
—Amy
I didn’t expect to find The Harlequin already out in Malaysia so when I saw it in the shelves, I snatched it up and read it that very same night.I missed Anita Blake.Although the last few Anita Blake books have spiraled downwards in terms of plot (blink and you miss it) and character development (number of characters increase exponentially but none are developed), I still read the books in the series in hopes that one day Hamilton (the author) will listen to her fans and reduce the number of pages devoted to bedroom scenes and divert those pages to storyline.So, I’m happy to report that in Anita’s latest adventure, whenever there was an opportunity for Anita to be dragged into the bedroom, Hamilton chose not to go that route. I could see the restraint in her writing and that made The Harlequin immediately superior than Danse Macabre (Anita Blake #14).I was also happy to note that Anita’s favourite human fellow hunter, Edward, made a cameo in this book. I missed him too. Undoubtedly, his role could have been expanded (which wasn’t) but just the fact that he was intertwined in the storyline made my night.I eventually finished The Harlequin in the wee hours of the morning, tired and happy. I was happy to see that Anita’s character was given more thought and that her various relationships were given the opportunity to be fleshed out further. It was all pretty superficial before.Hamilton still has a long way to go to come up with a book that was as tightly written as Guilty Pleasures (Anita Blake #1) or as plot-driven as Obsidian Butterly (Anita Blake #9) which I still think are two of her best books but I think if she listens to her fans more, reduces the oftentimes 20-page (average) bedroom scenes she’ll eventually get back there, if she wants to.
—Amelia
