My Letting. Tomorrow is my first Letting, and I have no one to count on. No one to trust. If Gretchen is right, and they decide they can clean my blood, and they actually Let me, who will help me recuperate? Sometimes the girls are given a few days to recoup in the Infirmary at the Letting site, other times they are shipped back to me the next day or even that night. I have spent many days and nights hand-feeding exhausted little girls who were too tired to lift their heads from their pillows. What if that happens to me? I steel myself against the thought. If they drain me and leave me for dead, I will have to rally. There is no choice. Because even if I’ve decided my life is unimportant, I am now fighting for something much greater: the revolution and the safety of Lulu, Raven, Violet, Lilly, and any of the little girls who come along after them. I roll over in my bed and stare at Gretchen’s empty cot. The silence in our room makes me miss her terribly. My minds reels with all of the times she and I had stayed awake well past taps, giggling, and talking about our plans once we were free to go to the New World.
