The Long Midnight Of Barney Thomson (2003) - Plot & Excerpts
Man walks into a barber's. Asks for a Tony Curtis. Falls asleep as the barber sets to work. When he wakes up, he's bald as Yul Brynner. "I asked for a Tony Curtis, you fool." "Aye," says the barber. "It's what he'd get if he came in here." Hair-cutting, like many other things in life, is related to confidence. When we meet Barney ThomPson, he's all out of it. Things have got so bad that men will pass up the chance of a haircut from Barney even if it means they need to stay in the shop for an extra hour in order to be seen to by one of his colleagues, Wullie and Chris. It's not just that Wullie and Chris can do a better job with the scissors, it's that they have the patter - football, weather, politics, art - you name it and they have an opinion on the tips of their tongues. Perhaps it's not surprising then that Barney is a little peeved. Might not even be too shocking if he decided to kill the others before he ends up doing his work at the back-room chair. What's more of a surprise is that Barney tells people of his murderous intentions. And he keeps hinting at what he's done after he's accidentally stabbed Wullie in the chest with a tool of his trade and had to dispose of the body. This book is refreshingly fun and highly enjoyable. Trying to find parallels is something I struggled with given the limitations of my own reading experience. The best I can do is to suggest this. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster. Turn Jeeves into a senile old woman called Cemolina who lives in a stinking tenement flat. Take Bertie and take away his riches. Have him born into a working-class family in Scotland and turn him into a charmless barber. Now consider the mess these guys are going to get into. With me? Alongside the accidental killing, add to the ingredients a serial killer and the cops who've eaten too many pies and drop in the comedy of Monty Python, Benny Hill, Tommy Cooper and the like and you're almost there. When I read this book, I laughed out loud so much that I could feel my spirit soaring and my levels of happiness increase. It's hilarious. The kind of humour I wish I could muster. It would be a mistake, however, to underestimate the skill of the author simply because the book's funny. It's only by setting you up, by getting the timing exactly right and by creating a plot that is utterly engaging from beginning to end that one can fully appreciate the talent. Closest I can come to really helping you out is `Old Dogs' by the wonderful Donna Moore; if you understand that reference, you'll know exactly the high class of territory I'm talking about. Not only that, but I needed to use the dictionary from time to time - slivicultural sent me scurrying, for example. I've learned a few things in the process, too. How to cover up for mistakes: `The first two haircuts were indeed dangerously close to being suitable cases for litigious action. However, he was a past master of the water disguise treatment.' And about hairstyles, the Byzantine triple weave being the most difficult in the world; that Marciano is not a type of pasta; that it's OK to open a novel with the word breast; and where to go if I need a Heston '86. Douglas Lindsey, writes like he's fully embedded in Scottish dialect, yet at the same time (and he'll probably hate me for this) he has the beautiful English of an Oxbridge scholar (I know, not all beautiful language is English, BBC or Oxbridge, but still). He's written a whole series about Barney and I look forward to more fabulous reads in the near future.
Heard about this series over summer when there was some news about it becoming a movie and decided to give it a go. The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson takes place in present day Glasgow about this middle age barber named Barney Thomson whose life is complete misery where he goes to work at this barbershop dealing with his colleagues who he believes are not only incompetent but are more popular than him then comes home to a wife who spends more time watching Australian soaps than hearing Barney complain about his day. He thinks life has passed him by where he considers himself the greatest barber in the world but under appreciated by nepotism. The book has this narrative device where it cuts to these different characters other than Barney such as these hard boiled detectives who are searching for the Mad Glasgow serial killer as this character plays a large role in the story by being the first point of view in the prologue to the twist the killer is revealed by later on in the story.While I was reading this book, I kept seeing many comparisons to Dexter with the writing style as it is both a black comedy using humor and the audience is focusing itself on a protagonist who is practically a killer. Although unlike Dexter where you know he is a serial killer and while loving him you root for him to receive justice, Barney is a regular guy who you really feel sorry for because his frustrations are something anyone can say is completely relate able. There is this one part where without giving anything away, Barney tries to dodge the polis after he is nearly caught disposing a few bodies and his thought process as he tries to find a way to get out without being spotted. You are at the edge of your seat because you are rooting for him to not get caught and get home while coming up with a good excuse to his wife and still getting away with murder. Looking forward to picking up the next installment a huge recommend from me.
What do You think about The Long Midnight Of Barney Thomson (2003)?
The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson was a joy from start to finish. It's a delicious black comedy that reminds me of the musical Sweeney Todd and the film The Green Butchers. The book had me laughing out loud and left me with a smile on my face.I only discovered this series because Robert Carlyle just finished principal photography on a film version in which he plays Barney (and directs), and as I was reading, I could picture him so perfectly in the role that I cannot wait to see the movie next year. I have already bought the other six books and four novellas in the series and cannot wait to read more of Barney's adventures soon.
—Nicki Markus
The basic premise of this novel is Barney Thomas, a forty-something barber who lives a pretty dull and boring life. He finds himself thinking of murder, being fed up of the rut that he is in, but he has no one to talk to, his wife is more interested in soaps than him and his 80-odd year old mother is more interested in quiz shows... Then he finds himself embroiled in a lot of murder, by complete and utter accident.I have been trying to figure out how I actually feel about this book... It was enjoyable and yet it didn't tick the right boxes for me. There was funny parts, the interactions between Barney and his mother being one of them and the police. The ending was pretty sweet as well.Although I liked the Glasgow setting, yet I found myself wondering exactly where the characters were at times. I don't know why but I found myself comparing the book to Trainspotting, though they are completely different the setting in the latter book was just easier to see than in this one.The character's are rather funny, the interactions between them was interesting and for part of it you do feel sorry for Barney. Again I find myself unsure exactly how to feel about the book on a whole. I can't say I want to read the next in the series and yet at the time I also don't find myself glad the tale is over either.
—Morv
'The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson' oozes black humour just as much as it does sticky red blood. By day Barney Thomson is a slave to his trade as a Glasgow barber, an accidental serial killer in the evenings, and one hell of a laugh 24/7. Making light of his dark intentions, Lindsay crafts a protagonist more suited to sitcom than death row. From subtle taunts and a general lack of recognition of his skill in the workplace spawns murderous thoughts, acted upon in dream scape, then played out in reality through acts of fate. Interestingly enough, for a serial killer, Barney doesn't actually kill anyone - intentionally. He's just an average Joe trying to have a go and make the best of his meager life. Unfortunately for Wullie and Chris (co-workers), the tools of their trade are a tad too conveniently located when the accidental assassin strikes, the result - pure genius and laugh out loud hilarity. Douglas Lindsay manages to do it all - create suspense as the long, rather disenfranchised arm of the law reaches out for a killer, blacker than black humour, captivating characters (Cemolina - Barney's mother is a hard one to forget), and punchy dialogue in delivering a lighthearted look at a man destined for a cult following. Enjoyable from start to finish - 5 stars. I look forward to reading the other books in the series.
—Josh
