This ended up being a pretty personal review for me, so if you don’t want to read through my melodramatic reminiscing…I suggest you (ie, the three of you that read my reviews) skip this one!__________________________________________________________________It will be absolutely impossible for me to rate this book objectively. Did I like this book? Not just no, but hell no. However, I recognize that this dislike is influenced heavily by my own personal experience. I over-identified with the beginning of the book, to the extent of making myself nauseous, but the middle and ending felt so unreal that I couldn’t engage with the story anymore. I do think that this book is well written, and I know that if I didn’t have the childhood past that I do, I would have probably liked it. So, I am settling on three stars.This story is written as a letter from an eighteen year old Matthew to his now nine year old sister, Emmy, recounting events from her early childhood, which she does not fully remember. Matthew and his sister Callie have lived in constant fear of their mother for years, as she has become more and more violent and manic. They both have taken on protector roles for Emmy, shielding her from as much as possible, and bringing the brunt onto themselves. However, Matthew is losing hope. When they witness a man defend a young child from being hit by his father in a convenience store, Matthew begins to imagine that he can track down this man and bring him into their lives to rescue them. But, when Matthew’s mother finds him first, nothing goes as planned.Matthew includes information about their future here and there in the letter, so the reader will know right from the beginning that these kids eventually get away from their mother. I like this – not only because it relieves some of the intensity of the beginning, but because it focuses the reader on the growth of the characters and not so much on wondering about the eventual outcome. There are parts of the beginning of this book that are very familiar to me, and I can identify with all three of these kids. Like Emmy, I don’t remember very much of my early childhood. My memory is made up of violent snatches of scenes, where my father hurts my mother and ridicules my little brother. I learned to be invisible quite early, to escape his notice. He was a heavy drinker, and he left when I was six years old. He did not pay child support, even though the court had ordered him to do so. Like Matthew, I once confronted my father, pleading for help. My mother sank into a deep depression in my teenage years, with frequent bouts of intense anxiety. She feared all Western medicine and so put her faith in natural healers, psychics, and herbs. One day she called home in a panic to tell me that a huge earthquake was coming. She had been informed by a psychic. I was to pack a bag, and she would buy us plane tickets to get out of town. I spent the whole afternoon alternately hunched under my desk, or standing in my doorway, trying to decide which location was the safest. When she got home, she went to bed, acting like nothing had happened. This was one of many incidents that occurred over years, but this one sticks out in my mind because it was the time that I realized that the majority of what my mom worried about wasn’t real. I wrote my father a letter, telling him that she was not okay, and that we needed help with money too. We didn’t have enough food, and I would wear the same clothes to school every day, because they were the only ones that fit. My mom was too lost to notice that any of this was happening. I’ll never forget his response. I know you think that you’re “poor”…. Yes, he even used the quotation marks. Just writing this down, I still have a little spark of rage about it all. And, I can relate to Callie. Like Callie, I decided that keeping my head down and doing well in school was the one way to get me far away from everything. So yes, I can definitely “over-identify much?” with the beginning of this book. However, somewhere in the middle of this book, the characters’ reactions and emotional states start to seem unreal to me. For example, when Matthew’s father comes to him, finally willing to try and help, Matthew is simply relieved and happy. Where’s the anger? The betrayal of fourteen years spent without help? I can’t understand that. And, while I do find it inspiring that Matthew in particular could be so heroic for so many years, protecting and shielding his sisters, I find that hard to buy into as well (at least not without him suffering lasting damage from it, which he doesn’t appear to). I am not saying that it doesn’t happen, because I’m sure that it does. But, I barely had the wherewithal to get myself out of my childhood. I kept my head down, and my eyes focused inward, even as my little brother self-destructed right next to me. Yes, I still have some brand of survivor’s guilt about it, and this book does not help me.All three kids in this story survive over a decade of abuse and seem to have very little lasting damage. Yes, we only get to see up to Matthew’s eighteenth birthday, but the extent to which all three of these kids are thriving and whole is unbelievable to me. Now, let me just say (again), that my own personal experience is heavily coloring this opinion. Maybe there are kids out there that have been raised in violent environments and emerged healthy and whole enough to win scholarships have great relationships with other parental figures. I don’t know, but to me it seems unrealistic. I still struggle with my past and I am almost thirty years old. Only in the past few years have I been able to say things like, “she did the best that she could” and actually mean them. Only recently have I been able to see that my parents are just people, who had problems, which had absolutely nothing to do with me. My mom lived for years in an abusive relationship, and lost her father, her brother, and her first child within two years. I defy anyone to be mentally healthy after that.I initially liked the ending reveal, but the more I think about it, the more I hate it. To me it smacks of hiding away the dirty past and treating the mother as a simple villain. There’s one thing that I’ve definitely learned in my adulthood (which is one of the main reasons I don’t mind posting all of this information about my life on the internet): trying to hide or minimize the difficult past is a sure way to increase its influence. Whereas, if you share your past openly and stare it right in the face, it will lose its power. I would like to see Matthew and his sisters working on healing and struggling, without it happening instantly. I am in a very happy place in my life, but I still have healing to do. It’s not something that happens all at once, but in little moments throughout my life. Every time I take my daughters to the doctor for a regular check-up, or pick them up from school on time, or cook them dinner, or see my eldest become more and more of a daddy’s girl, it heals me.
How can a mother love her children, but treat them like she doesn't at the same time? Most children feel safe around their mother, but not in this case. This is realist fiction story about Matthew and his two sisters that have to deal with having a dangerous mother.There are a lot characters in this book, but without Nikki there wouldn't be a story. Nikki, the main character is the mother of her three children. She shows her love for her children differently, she's definitely dangerous and a bit insane. Nikki meets a guy named Murdoch and they began dating and her kids really liked him too. Nikki wanted them to be together and have fun, but Murdoch was beginning to realize who Nikki really is. So Murdoch broke up with Nikki. Murdoch doesn't get away from her that easily, she begins to say lies and makes up stuff to get him in trouble. This story is person vs person because Murdoch and Nikki's children have to learn how to deal with Nikki. Matthew, which is the oldest of the three is 14, Callie is 1 year younger and Emmy (their Half sister) is 6.The book, The Rules of Survival, is a very intense book. I really enjoyed reading it, its one of those books that once you start reading, you don't want to stop. I wish that the author would have identified who Nikki was in the beginning of the story because sometimes the narrator (Matthew) would call her by her name (Nikki) and sometimes 'Mom' which confused me at first. But I really liked who the author chose the narrator to be. He had a big part in the story and explained very well how he and his sisters had to deal with his mom. This story reminds me of the book The Outsiders because both Matthew and Ponyboy are writing a story about their lives for everyone to understand what happened in their life and how it changed.Overall, I thought this story is an amazing book and I strongly recommend it. Anyone who likes intense books, but also sad would like this. I would rate this book a 10 because it was amazing and i loved the characters and how in every page, there was something going on. Will Matt, Emmy and Callie get the family they always wanted or have to keep dealing with Nikki?
What do You think about The Rules Of Survival (2006)?
Matt is a young teenager dealing with an abusive mother. While he goes through this life he must do his best to protect his two younger sisters. One evening he meets a man, Murdoch. Murdoch becomes Matt's hero in a sense. He sees the strength and power that he wishes that he could have. As Matt's mother progresses down that path of abuse and succumbing to her demons, as Matt describes, he finds a way for them to be safe with the help of Murdoch, his Aunt Bobbie, and his father Ben. I really loved this book. It was written in such a way that it made it feel real to me. like this sort of thing could really happen. As Nancy Werlin wrote this book in the form of a letter from older brother to younger sister, it really showed the power that this book really has. Even though I have never experienced something as extreme as this story presented, I in a small way know what it feels like to just want someone that is willing to act on your behalf. This is a book that I think I will add to my own library and will most likely read countless times throughout the rest of my life.
—Ben Jensen
I HATED the mom in The Rules of Survival. So much that my blood pressure would literally spike while reading of the cruelties she inflicted on her children. I loathed the adults who turned a blind eye to the abuse because they just didn't want to deal with it at the time. In my book, by turning a blind eye, you become just as bad (if not worse) than the abuser. But yeah, this book had me pissed off through a vast majority of it and horrified when I wasn't pissed.The Rules of Survival is one of those books that doesn't shy away from the abuse inflicted. It was terrifyingly real, intense, and very emotional. I was cringing every time Nikki (the cruel mom) would strike her kids either with her fists or with words. This book hits a little close to home with me because I know what it's like to live with a person whose moods shift so quickly that you have to watch out for them and are constantly walking on eggshells to make sure you don't do anything to set that person off. So, I was rooting for Matthew, for Callie, and for Emmy and couldn't wait from them to get away from that suffocating and damaging atmosphere.While this book is all types of depressing, it is also hopeful because you know right from the first page that the children do survive and try to leave the past behind them. The fact that you know what happens from the first page, doesn't make this book any less gripping. It was entirely captivating. So much that I read this book in a little bit less than three hours. I was glued to my chair and didn't even get up once. I also loved that the The Rules of Survival was written in an epistolary format with Matthew writing to his younger sister, Emmy, whom he (along with Callie) tried to shield from the abuse as she was the youngest. I just thought that him writing to her was incredibly sweet and it brought tears to my eyes more than once.I highly recommend The Rules of Survival. You will get upset reading this novel. It's just inevitable. But there is a sense of hope in there as well. I hope that all of the Matthews, the Callies, and the Emmys of the world get the help they need and I hope with all my heart that they too become survivors. Because Werlin is right. The survivors are the ones who get to tell the story.
—Alisha Marie
Have you ever gone through parent trouble? This book is nonfiction. I think this book is very good but sad because how the parent treats her children. Keep reading to find more interesting horrible things these kids have gone through!*********SPOILER ALERT***********This story was meant for him and his little sister Emmy. Matthew is the one who is telling the story and he has two sisters, Callie and Emmy. They live in a apartment with their mother. Their mother would go out and leave her kids alone while she's out partying. When she gets mad she hits her kids but mostly Matthew. Then one night their mom was out. Matthew and Callie where going to the store to buy something for themselves. That's when they meet Murdoch. After a few days Nikki, their mom was dating Murdoch. Nikki is sometimes nice to her kids and takes them out to eat or somewhere fun. Nikki then breaks up with Murdoch. The father is called Ben, just so you know.My favorite part in the story was when Nikki was dating Murdoch because it's all what Matthew, Callie, and Emmy want, a real family. I don't understand why Nikki is so mean to her kids because it doesn't really say why she's mean, it just says in the beginning that she's mean.I had predicted that Matthew, Callie, and Emmy would find a family or would live with their father, or even their aunt. I noticed that the author always said "do you remember this, Emmy?" He always is referring to Emmy, his sister.I rate this book a 4 because it's ok but not a really good book that you just can't stop reading. I like it but not one of my favorite books. I recommend this book to the people who like books of child abuse or parents who are crazy. I recommend you to read this book you'll like it or not. Don't you want to find out if they get a real family, away from Nikki.
—Anadela Garcia
