The Secret History Of The Pink Carnation (2006) - Plot & Excerpts
Choosing a light read is a tricky business. It's like icing on a cake - too little, and all you have is cake; too much, and you're overwhelmed with fluff and sugar. I picked up this book because I wanted to read something with no murders in it, and besides, Napoleonic spy capers with women! Fun stuff! Surely this was the right amount of icing. I was even willing to overlook the fact that the contemporary heroine, Eloise, was the type that knew what brand her boots were and just had to mention it. I was willing to award this book ALL the breaks, just because I wanted something that would not rip my heart out.Sadly, as other readers have noticed, there's very little capering in this book. Minimal caper. It's a Regency romance novel, interspersed with a few chapters of a contemporary researcher, who, in spite of being a PhD student smart enough to con a committee into sending her overseas, is the kind of person who will, after a man is rude to her once, be repeatedly rude back, even in the face of his preternatural patience. Have I mentioned this is someone who has something she wants? He is! She will also hate women who are more polished than she is and embarrass herself through repeated clumsiness. In short, she's a familiar romantic comedy type, but I'd have to seriously question Harvard's admission process if she existed in real life. If it sounds as if I thought the contemporary pieces were the worst part of this book, oh, think again. They were actually a bit of a relief, although both storylines featured proportionately equal amounts of "endearing" clumsiness. I kind of wish I'd done a word count for "ouch," "urgh," and "ow." They were numerous. The historical parts were MUCH worse. My poor husband, reading in the same room with me, was subjected to a lot of moans and groans on my part, sarcastic commentary such as "oh, good, he has piercing green eyes, I was worried he wouldn't," and the moment when I said "no, wrong. WRONG!" That, I'm pretty sure, was when Amy, the nauseating heroine of the historical bits, hears the Purple Gentian reference something she has only told to his alter ego, Richard, and decides that it MUST mean that he's her true love, fated to be with her. Not that he actually is Richard. This was, however, also the scene where I discovered my new favorite line in literature, "the moist thrust of the Purple Gentian's tongue." There was so much bosom-heaving and ass-checking-out that I was rooting really hard for the leads to just do it already so the rest of us could be spared them lusting after each other. Since clearly the author wasn't going to do us all a favor and kill them off, the least she could do was make them stop gazing for a hot second. There were secondary characters I DIDN'T totally hate, but the leads I did. I was very sorry we had to read about them the whole damn time.The writing was, oh, how do I put this? Bad. The writing was bad. I feel a little harsh saying this, because clearly this author was enjoying herself as she wrote. She liked her characters and I'm sure was chuckling as she wrote some of the lines I found so vomit-worthy. But the writing was really bad. The dialogue in the historical pieces would throw in some era-appropriate terms, but otherwise they talked like the contemporary characters (I can't say they talked or acted like real people at either end). They said "um" a lot. Sometimes when they were speaking French, which I happen to know isn't something you SAY in French (3 semesters of college French speaking, here, she says, buffing nails on shirt).Why, then, is this book two stars rather than one? Mostly because the packaging is so misleading. It seems unfair to rate the book on what it's being billed as, rather than what it is. If it had been billed as a Regency romance I would never have read it in the first place, but at least I would have known more or less what to expect. But since I DID get conned into reading a Regency romance, it did give me an opportunity to have a think about the genre. Its existence implies that there are in the world women (definitely a genre aimed at women) who get all hot and bothered at the idea of being bossed around and scolded. Women who think it would be sexy as hell to have a guy with piercing eyes (always piercing eyes, or a piercing gaze if you're fancy/a better writer) and a "face like a thunderstorm" demand "what were you thinking, you little fool? Don't you know you could have been hurt?" before sweeping her into his arms and asking brokenly (usually brokenly, sometimes softly or "with sudden and unexpected tenderness") "Don't you know what it would do to me if something happened to you?" Followed, natch, by the passionate kiss as he gives in to his feelings. Thinking about this stuff now, I am actually really intrigued. I have to admit this does nothing for me - I'm not into being patronized or having my intellect called into question, although I'm also not impetuous and nor do I bounce with frustration so maybe I'm not really a heroine either - but ARE there people who really find this hot escapism? Is being scolded a minor subset of BDSM culture? I WANT TO KNOW! Because I'm so confused by this idea! I can kind of get the idea of fantasizing about being a damsel in distress - because I think most people like the idea of being valued so much by someone who would drop everything to come save you if you needed it. Who doesn't want a guy who has your back? But a guy who saves you and then yells at you about it? Is this really what does it for some people? I AM SO CURIOUS.Anyway, there's a whole series of these books, so clearly the author got in some more practice and may have improved since then. The book was kind of fun to read, in the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and if you're into heaving bosoms and male assholes who can't stop staring at your heaving bosoms because they're so in lust/love with you and female assholes who yell at you for maybe making fun of them that one time, well! I have a book for you! But it also contains the phrase "the moist thrust of the Purple Gentian's tongue." I think we can all agree that this is wrong.
This is a genre romance novel with pretensions of grandeur.I was intrigued by this book because of it's duel format. It features a Harvard Ph.D. candidate in history researching the famous (in her world at least!) Pink Carnation, a British spy during the Napoleonic Wars. Eloise, the student, travels to London after a bad break up and decides to research primary sources on the Pink Carnation. The novel opens with her in a slight jam--she's crushed in an overcrowded Tube ride, has spilled coffee on herself, and discovers that it's raining and she doesn't have an umbrella. All of this makes her a truly hapless sight when so goes to interview a descendant of the Purple Gentian (a spy that inspired our Carnation).Her host is a nice old woman and immediately gives Eloise access to private family papers.And that's where the book goes downhill.Eloise is apparently reading journals and letters, but that's not what readers see. Instead, we are simply taken into the story of Amy Balcourt and Richard Selwick (who happens to be the Purple Gentian). Their story is a very typical romance novel. Amy is returning to France for the first time since she left it during the Terror. She's been living with her English relatives for the last 15 years, plotting and planning how she could help the famous British spies--the Scarlet Pimpernel and the Purple Gentian--restore the monarchy in France. Or at least expel the Republicans. Or Napoleon. In any event, she wants to help. Her father was killed by the guillotine, and she has a powerful hatred of the current French government. Richard has posing as a French sympathizer, working as their head of antiquities, all the while spying for his native England. Amy, of course, doesn't know this, and is repelled to learn that such an attractive young man could work for the side of the devil. Richard, in turn, is drawn to Amy. He knows her brother is involved in something underhanded, and in his attempt to investigate, he stumbles into Amy late at night. She doesn't know who he is due to the mask, but her hero worship of the Gentian leads to a slightly compromising situation. Cue the rest of a standard romance novel involving mistaken identity.This novel would have worked so much better if readers had been able to read the same letters and journals Eloise was reading. We could have learned the story as she did. Instead, Eloise has access to different information than the reader. For a novel that's based around the idea of historical research, it doesn't read as being very authentic. Amy and her friends are unrealistic, and the graphic sexual encounters do not read as anything that would appear in a young lady's journal. Considering Richard's dangerous occupation, he would have been unlikely to keep a journal of his encounters with her either.Further, I would have liked to see more of Eloise. I didn't like her as a character--she was too much the cliched chick lit heroine--but with only roughly four chapters to her credit, she was never able to properly establish her identity as a character or as a researcher. Sadly, the framing device of Eloise's narrative seemed like a pathetic attempt to elevate the book out of it's genre--the historical romance. Both the size of the book--a trade paperback--and the period artwork cover would seem to imply that it is more than a genre romance, but that's simply not the case.I will admit that I enjoyed Amy & Richard's story. It was fun and trashy, and there were actually a few surprises. Other than the mustache-twirling villain, the supporting characters were delightfully madcap. Unfortunately, all of the characters were smarter than Amy, which didn't work well. They were able to see through Richard's subterfuges before Amy, allowing her to make an ass of herself repeatedly while they looked on knowingly. Gwen the chaperone was perhaps the most inspired character--but she was also almost a caricature. If you're looking for a fun romance without pretensions, pass this book by. If you just want a trashy book set in the Napoleonic Wars, and you're willing to overlook the Eloise sections, have at it. I picked up the second book in the bookswap at the same time as I grabbed this one. I will probably continue with the series through that book alone. Unless the modern storyline develops further, I simply don't see enough her to elevate it above the usual genre romances and into a permanent place in my library.
What do You think about The Secret History Of The Pink Carnation (2006)?
I was bitterly disappointed in this book. Given the quality hard cover, the lovely cover art and the blurb, I was expecting something that strives to be Heyer or Austen. I would have been happy with something that fell along the lines of Tasha Alexander or Deanna Raybourne. Heck, I would counted myself lucky if the book had been vaguely reminiscent of Mary Balogh or Julia Quinn. Instead I got something that fell far short of all of those.Instead of sparkling wit of Heyer and the mannered prose of Austen, I got a by the numbers, derivative, cliche historical romance novel that (weirdly) also wanted to be modern chick lit and a rollicking spy adventure as well.The heroine Amy is a firm and permanent resident of the too stupid to live category. Seriously. This girl did one dumb thing after the other. Just from the glimpse of a black cloak, she believes she has discovered the identity of the Purple Gentian (a famous spy a la the Scarlet Pimpernel). So she sends the man a note to meet her at night in a deserted park. So very smart! The fact that the real Purple Gentian happened to coincidentally have a conversation with the other man (who was a leering jerk) where he learns about the assignation, is what largely saves the stupid twit from being raped.But Amy is not the only dull knife in the drawer. For a super spy who has eluded capture for years, Richard is also remarkably inept. First he has pretty much told his entire family his secret identity. Isn't that like rule number 1 in the spy handbook? You don't tell anyone your identity especially not your mother and your younger sister. And then there is the scene where he and Amy are in the apartment of the head of Napoleon's secret police to steal papers. Instead of getting in and getting out, they have a conversation on issues of love trust and almost end up making love right then and there. Sigh. There are not words enough...And there were many more moments where I just rolled my eyes so hard. There was also a very modern feel to the language that struck me as out of place. While not overtly anachronistic in word usage, the tone was just off. It was too droll, too arch. I got the impression that author was doing this on purpose and trying to let us in on the joke. But imo, it failed miserably.Also, I could pretty much predict how the H/h were going to act and react to each other. This book was just stuffed with romance novel obviousness. Not one character did anything surprising or unpredictable. Actually, I retract that last statement a bit. This book was not a total waste. Jane, the heroine's cousin was actually an excellent character. She had all the brains, wit and composure the heroine should have had. Had Jane been the heroine of this novel and been allowed to retain her character this may have been a much different story.And I do have to admit the book was funny in some places. Toward the end of the novel the scene where Richard's family shows up and wants to meet Amy was a entertaining.But even with those one or two positive things, the book overall was still a big disappointment.I can't recommend.
—Tina
Okay, so great title, beautiful cover, BRILLIANT marketing because all these things made me pick up this book. However clever the unnecessary particulars, this is a stupid book. I wanted to like it. I TRIED. But it's about doofy, immature characters in the midst of a boring, sitcom-style romance. WE NEVER EVEN GET TO SEE THE PINK CARNATION IN ACTION. It's like the author said "Hey, don't pay attention to any of this cool, historical spy stuff! Delight in the Napoleonic version of Ross and Rachel." Insulting to both genders, anachronistic and silly, I sincerely wish I could punch this book in the face.
—Sarah
This was one of those books that I found easier to read once I gave up any expectations I started with, and I will confess that it did redeem itself in my eyes by the end. It was a cute but predictable story about the hijinks surrounding the doings and identities of the preposterously-named Purple Gentian and Pink Carnation, not that the names really mattered that much. We mostly follow the dense Amy about as she desperately but naively tries to enter the world of espionage. Both she and her love interest were pretty forgettable to me, as was Eleanor, or whatever her names was, who was a guide through the modern frame of the novel as she tries to discover the identity of the Pink Carnation through what seem to be the most bizarrely detailed accounts in diaries and letters. At least the author was sensible in her choice of the identity of the Pink Carnation, but she had me worried for a long time. The book didn't get better until the author proved to me that she had some modicum of sense.
—Nicole
