What do You think about The Tender Bar (2006)?
"I used to say I'd found in Steve's bar the fathers I needed, but this wasn't quite right. At some point the bar itself became my father, its dozens of men melding me into one enormous male eye looking over my shoulder, providing that needed alternative to my mother, that Y chromosome to her X".--JR Moehringer, pg. 9 of prologue I keep saying this memoir reminded me of an American version of Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes". However, it's the essence more than the actual details that brings me to say that. It's that unremitting search for identity from a young boy's eyes, along with the piercing earnestness of that all consuming journey as they come of age in a world where early on, the cards are stacked against them. Both authors have this almost magical ability to shapeshift the reader into their lives, laughing and crying beside them. JR Moehringer wrote a book that not only gives tribute to 'the bar that raised him' but to the mother that sacrificed much of her own life for the sake of her son's. I'd never understood the lure of 'the bar' and the regulars that go there, other than possibly in the tv sitcom "Cheers".JR not only gave me an inside look at both the glory and tragedy of his hometown's bar but humanized it in such a way that I'll never look at a bar or its customers in the same way again. The regulars become family no matter how disparate. Wherein I once thought that people who went to a bar every day were hard core alcoholics, I now stand corrected for my harsh judgements. Granted, alcoholism is prevalent but that's only a small part. The local bar becomes a place where men and women go to bare their hearts, let down their daily facades, and stave off loneliness. More than anything though, JR's memoir has heart--like the Red Sox despite their repeated losses. You can't stop rooting for him, even when it looks like there's nothing left.It's sometimes hilarious, other times heart breaking but consistently honest in it's unflinching look at the imperfections of being human. It's the Velveteen Rabbit who happens to go to a bar everyday. No matter what, it's a love story to humanity. That's my hokey phrase of the day and I blame it on this book. Read it and you'll see why it's so easy to be this sentimental.
—Jody Julian
i found this to be a memoir with a lot of heart but little literary value. what moehringer does very well is create a vivid atmosphere, using dialogue in particular to paint a picture that you can easily imagine as if you were in the room with him. i read in a separate review that the most interesting thing about the author is the people he knows - and it's true, the characters in this book are very colorful and tend to overshadow moehringer's self-absorbed drama. another reason to enjoy the book was the pure feel-good-ness of the story: the author faces obstacles (daddy issues, unrequited love, alcoholism, bad life choices in general), he overcomes them, and you can't help but find yourself cheering for him. you also wish you could be a part of the in-crowd at the bar of the book's title, the place the author returns to at the end of what seems like every day of his young life.however, all memoirs are always pretty hit-or-miss with me because of the structural problems they inevitably pose. if you want to write a story about your life, you need to sift through all the infinite events that you could possibly include in order to come up with a narrative that is thematically coherent. moehringer is only moderately successful at this. i was especially disappointed that he gave such short shrift to his struggles with alcoholism later in life and how he ultimately sobered up. much more time is wasted on cliched descriptions of his first relationship, which we know is obviously going to fall apart. my last criticism has to do with writing style. i'm not entirely sure how moehringer manages to simultaneously sound like he's trying too hard and yet also like his target audience is the dumbed-down drunkards at his cherished bar.one last note: as someone who went to harvard, i'd like to point out that moehringer's repeated descriptions of yale as "the best school in the country" are just factually incorrect. :)
—Becky
Not a bad memoir; not particularly gripping, but very vivid in its way of person-description-by-storytelling. Probably the least "woe is me, I'm a drunk" and most interesting "look how I became a reporter for Times" book out there. And still, it became rambly. About two-thirds of the way through, I wondered why so many pages remained and what Moehringer could possibly have left to tell me that was so darned important. I hate when the story seems over and the book keeps going. Of course, I claim to hate when the story seems UNfinished and the book ends more, but I suppose that's a much better way to end a book--leave the reader wanting. Always a good sign for the author, anyway.I could easily see The Tender Bar becoming a cult classic within reading groups, but it didn't blow me away. What can I say--I'm a tough audience. I'd recommend this one more strongly to males, particularly the intellectual types. It's about male-bonding, after all, and I imagine many of them would relate to the issues Moehringer explores.
—Allison
