The United States Of Air: A Satire That Mocks The War On Terror - Plot & Excerpts
Before us stretched an underground bunker several football fields long. Every square foot was covered by giant copper tanks, laboratory equipment and computers. Air Force technicians in lab smocks and goggles swarmed about the space. The ceiling was ten stories high. The gurgling noise came from there. Pipes the size of sewer mains dropped from overhead and branched off until they connected with the copper tanks. On a dais in the center of the room stood a man. Rank balloons the size of small cars rose from the epaulets of his dress uniform. The balloons were covered in stars. Opposite him on the wall hung an enormous screen. It showed a map of the US. Lines and dots of different colors covered the terrain. “Sewer Systems of the United States of Air,” proclaimed the map key. “Gentlemen,” the lieutenant said. “Welcome to the NSA. Now quit your gawking and get a move on.” He waited for us beside a copper tank with a window in the side. The tank was filling up with a brown liquid.
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