Things I Learned From Knitting (2008) - Plot & Excerpts
UPSTAIRS IN MY HOUSE, in the very back of the linen closet, behind the sheets and towels, are several pieces of my old knitting. They are in the back, packed up tight where people (including me) are unlikely to see them. They are terrible — absolutely, viciously, breathtakingly terrible. Truly, they’re embarrassingly bad. In fact, they’re so bad in so many ways that it is impossible to narrow down exactly which offenses of knitting make them so bad. It could be that I chose the very worst of all possible materials, selecting for only economy rather than quality, since I was young and poor and I didn’t understand that unless you’re a miracle worker, if you start with crap you end up with crap, no matter how expertly you knit the crap. Speaking of things that are expertly knit, these are definitely not. They have bizarre and random increases mid-row that somehow involve an extra stitch (or ten) and rows in which I decreased away those extra stitches, thinking that this was a brilliant way to deal with them and restore order.
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