Tough, Tough Toys For Tough, Tough Boys (2000) - Plot & Excerpts
Who says short story collections have to be 30% filler? Will Self hits eight consecutive balls out of the proverbial park with his third collection of short fiction, Tough, Tough Toys for Tough, Tough Boys. Whether writing a story about two drug-dealing brothers who find a stratum of crack beneath their London flat; or about a pair of parents worrying over their child's mental development, oblivious to the fact that the gibberish Baby is spouting is actually fluent business German; or another about an alternate now where most adults are emotional wimps who need emotes - 12 foot tall mutants which share their owners genetic makeup - to coddle and pamper their pathetic little psyches; or another pair of stories, including the titular tale, which clinically recounts the slow descent of a boozy, womanizing psychoanalyst into emotional vacuity; or about a misanthropic work-at-homer who develops a symbiotic relationship with the bugs which infest his flat; or another about the horror of realizing how many people have the fucking name "David" - Self packs his stories with enough humor, incident, and his own strange approach to social commentary to keep you, dear reader, a happy reader. But the real prize pony in this collection is the novella "The Nonce Prize" which takes one of the drug dealers from the first story I mentioned, frames him for a horrific act of pedophilia and murder, and then locks him away in a prison where his only hope for a reprieve stems from whether or not he can beat his pedophiliac peers in a short story writing contest. Self's satire is vicious and on point in this collection, making Tough, Tough Toys for Tough, Tough Boys a wonderful place to start reading Self.
My mouse pointer hesitates over the "recommend to friends" button, not because I didn't thoroughly enjoy this book--with every Self title I read I immediately want to read more--he surprises at every turn, his prose snicker-snacks electrically across the page--but yes, he's verbose and very British and I live in, well, America. The hesitation is because he's challenging and therefore all the more rewarding but some readers might not be looking for this sort of a challenge. But screw it. My mouse will punch that recommend button, big words be damned. At the bar the other day I discovered that an American acquaintance enjoys reading Self. Sure, it helps to be not a little dark of mind with a predilection for drug culture, surrealism, and dark "humour", but Self's work stands on its own bent laurels--with a logic all its own but sound nonetheless.I disagree with the reviewer above who found "The Nonce Prize" weak... and an unnecessary response to Crack Rock as Big as the Ritz. Amazing, intricate stuff. The blurbs compare him to Vonnegut, etc. Flattering indeed, but I think his lineage descends more directly frm Swift by way of Ballard. Top shelf stuff.
What do You think about Tough, Tough Toys For Tough, Tough Boys (2000)?
What can be said about Will Self that hasn't been said about the Rocky franchise? He's taken a few hits but nothing really knocks him down. 'Tough, Tough Toys' is a dirty little collection of stories that dwell in and about the same neighborhoods that most Self fictions reside. Incorporating elements of science fiction, and social commentary in absurd and hilarious stories. Self continues to renovate the landscape of modern fiction. Let's just hope he's not erecting a crack house in its stead. Self is an enormous influence on me. His subject matter has a tendency to gravitate towards the surreal without losing the audience. For example, in "The Rock of Crack as Big as the Ritz", Will uses the titular crack rock in both a literal and metaphoric sense, ignoring the fact that a rock of crack that big would be impossible to undertake, and encapsulating the crack epidemic in an immensely comedic fashion. This is a feat which I hope to someday be able to undertake. Maybe with less crack rocks.
—Anthony Jacobson
