Archer, who was schmoozing by the re-enactment noticeboard, hurries over to wrap his big arms around me. “Baby, what’s wrong?” “It’s—Hunter—he’s—such—a—dick!” I wheeze. Archer’s got this scrunched look on his face, like, yes, I know he’s a dick. But because he’s my bestest man friend in all the campus, Archer doesn’t say that. Instead, he just hugs me tightly, even patting my lederhosened ass. “Caught—him—with—Labron,” I mumble into Archer’s chest. “Caught him doing what with Labron?” “Getting a BLOW JOB!” I howl. “A what now?” Archer’s eyebrows shoot skyward. One lands on the chandelier and he has to do a little jump to get it back down again. “Hunter’s gay?” “It wasn’t even a good blow job. Labron was barely moving, and Hunter wasn’t moaning at all. Well. Not like he does when I let him—” Archer’s other eyebrow flies off, only this time he makes no attempt to retrieve it. “You slept with Hunter?” he hisses.
