This time, though, I decide not to ask you in person, but through Facebook. I request your friendship and once you confirm, I first check your relationship status. Previous to this point, I had hoped your relationship may not have been serious enough to warrant being Facebook-official. Alas, my denial was destroyed in the space of a digital moment: you are “In a Relationship,” your profile says. But this is no matter. It is clear to me that your relationship is not a happy one—the sole time you mentioned your girlfriend, you did not light up with joy but acted melancholy. Your attentions are not focused on her, but on everywhere and everyone else. I send you a friendly message inviting you to see Transformers with me later this week. You haven’t yet expressed as much interest in me as I would like, so in my message I add that “I get that you have a girlfriend. I’m not going to try to get into your pants (not that I wouldn’t . . .)”. I hope to simultaneously plant the idea in your head that sleeping with me is an option, so you might see me as someone who might be more than your friend, and also to deflect any concern you might have about my intentions.
