Not when Grace refused to answer any of my calls. I spent three days trying to reach her, but no one could help me. Or they just wouldn't. I couldn't control anything anymore. I was miserable and desperate one minute, then moody and abrasive the next. By day three, the numbness had taken over. Then, without warning, regret and shame. I replayed our conversation, over and over again. To anyone listening in, it was clear that Grace had misunderstood me and she was too upset to give me a chance to explain. But I didn't blame her. When she asked if I was worried that things would change for me, I immediately said no. Then, something came over me and I really couldn't be sure. I don't know. It came out of my mouth so damn fast, I had no chance of stopping it. I didn't know if things would change for me, but those things had nothing to do with Grace. It was me I was worried about. Whether or not I would regress back to the pitiful excuse I was before.
