Okay, yes, I know, I normally wait a day after I finish a book before I start reviewing it. But I'm going to change that now because I usually have fresher and better stuff on my mind the day I review it. Okay. So, as a woman, especially a black American woman, Waiting to Exhale was one of those things that I was mentioned often. In most cases, it was referencing the movie. But still. Whether it was the car burning scene or the scene where Glora meets her new neighbor. This book/movie was sometimes treated like a staple. And to say you didn't at least know a little bit about it kind of results in shock and awe from a lot of people. So, when I came across this book, I had to pick it up.I can't believe I'm saying this but I think this is one of the few cases where the movie is better than the book, and I know that sounds strange. But it's true. Don't get me wrong, the book was written and the characters felt good, and I even related them to them a lot. There was some stuff in there that made me....ragey. Including one part that I, for a moment, considering DNF-ing it.So, this book follows four women: Savannah, Robin, Gloria, and Bernadine. Each of these characters were different and alike in ways. They all had different careers, goals for their relationships, whether or not they were actively searching for that relationship, and even how they reached the point of being single (again) and being in this position of waiting to exhale. Savannah, Robin, and Gloria, basically, all start off single themselves. Bernadine, however, wasn't single; she was married, and at the start of the novel, her husband informs her that he's leaving her for his mistress. And the book essentially follows all of them as they try to either find love (again) or deal with everything going on in their lives surround their respective families.I don't really have a favorite character, more like, I did like them all, though I admit there's a bit of lean toward Savannah and Gloria, but the one that made me the most ragey was probably Bernadine. I've never personally been through a divorce in the sense that I'm one of the people getting divorced. So, maybe I don't know what divorce feels like that angle or perspective. I'll take that. However, there was some stuff she did that just... As I stated earlier in some of my posts about this book, she seemed more upset at the fact that the woman her husband was leaving her for was white more so than the fact he was leaving her. I did understand her rage at that because, some people hold this idea or thought that being a POC and having a white spouse is a "true" sign of upward mobility. So, yes, that is a really, really good reason to be mad. However, it felt like she was directing a lot of her anger toward the mistress rather than her husband, if that makes sense. And that's the part I didn't really like. And I mean she was mad at her husband, but still though.Another thing that made me ragey was a part where Bernie was kind of encouraging Savannah to date a married man, and there was even a part where she herself was with another person's husband. I'm not going to necessarily condemn cheaters, because I don't think that's right. At the same time, I don't think that's okay either. And while I understand her reason for saying it, and it probably coming from a place of anger, it still made me kind of mad but of all the things, it made me the least ragey. Now for the thing that made me the most ragey. There's a scene where Bernadine's kids come back from staying with her ex-husband, and one of them, her daughter and the younger of the two I think, explains that their dad had gotten married and he and his new wife are having a baby. The kid does this with excitement. Which causes Bernie to storm off and go to her room. Now, at this point, her kids did understand divorce but I guess they were handling it in different ways. So, Bernie goes to her room. The other kid, her son, slaps the kid who told her, her daughter, and calls her a b*tch, and says she talks too much and tells her to sit down on the couch (and has repeat "I talk too much" five hundred time or something). Bernie heard and even saw this whole exchange. Now, I thought, "Okay, she's going to go out there and doing something about that.". Nope! She walked back into her room, and was even agreeing with her son and laughed at it. And was like she was glad that at least one of her kids was on her side. Are you kidding me?! That is just no, no, no, no! And then it goes a bit forward, and I thought okay, maybe now she'll apologize or say something or do something. But again, nope. Just....UGH! ARGH! There was some body shaming from the other characters toward Gloria, most prominently from Robin. That I kind of didn't like. And there was the "I like my women big" kind of thing from her love interest. Which I admit I kind of shift between "aww that's cute" and "okay?"/"phrase that better" (because of the whole sexualization of a body type thing).I saw very little slut-shaming I think. Which I liked. So, that made me happy. But there was a dismissive attitude toward Robin and her dating now and then. They called each other "b*tch" a lot. Like a lot. I get it that it was out of "friendship" or whatever, but it was still very excessive. But even with it all its issues, I did still like Waiting to Exhale. There were some parts that really made me angry, and some I was kind o.O about. But I did like it, and I thought it was well written. The characters were three dimensional and well developed. They made choices I didn't necessarily agree with. However, the whole story and how they changed kind of made up for some of it, not all of it. But I'm glad I got it.
Before the pap that was How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Terry McMillan wrote the brilliant Waiting to Exhale, a story of four female friends and their triumphs and failures in their relationships with men.::: The New Musketeers :::As the novel opens, Savannah has just quit her job to move to a new job in Phoenix, where her friend Bernadine lives, in hopes of furthering her career and moving from public relations to television producing. Bernadine herself has just found out that her husband has not only been having an affair, but is leaving her for a white woman. Bernadine's other two friends, Gloria and Robin, aren't faring much better; Gloria is struggling with her teenage son, Tarik, and Robin is up to her eyeballs in debt and involved with a philandering loser who uses her for money, Russell.Not one of the four seems to be able to find a good man. Savannah is too picky; Gloria is too wrapped up in her hair salon and raising her son on her own; Robin picks all the wrong men; and Bernadine finds that she has given her all to a man for eleven years and lost her own identity in the process. Savannah's move to Phoenix seems to coincide with changes in all their lives, as Bernadine finds a life outside her husband (after a scene made famous in the movie where she dumps her husband's designer suits in his BMW and sets the whole thing on fire), Gloria begins to let go of her son, Robin realizes that she doesn't always need a man to be with her, and that it's better to be alone than with the wrong man just to be with someone, and Savannah learns to let go and open up a little bit.::: All For One and One For All :::Throughout all the ups and downs with men, some serious and some downright comical, what comes through is how important friendship between women can be, both when life is going well and when it's not. Each one of the women has something to learn from the others, be it a willingness to loosen up a little, or a need to become more responsible. Throughout it all, the friends are able to accept each other as they are, even when they disagree with life choices. All three friends know that Robin's boyfriend Russell is a no-account loser, but accept that she needs to realize that on her own, even as they vent about him to each other.McMillan's writing makes the women's relationships as well as their experiences tangible. Every woman can relate to Savannah's horror at finding herself stuck with a clingy man who was introduced by friends, and every woman will sigh when Bernadine meets James, who may well be the perfect man aside from his wife. While the focus is on four African-American women, the friendships and experiences with men are something that any woman can relate to, even if some of the characterizations of the men they meet border on stereotype. Their relationships with men don't define their lives; they merely reflect them. This book is a must-read.This review previously published at Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/Waitin...
What do You think about Waiting To Exhale (2006)?
This was the first in my "books NOT written by white men" challenge. It was an easy read, well-written, and mostly depressing. It is about four African-American women dealing with romantic relationships (or the lack thereof) and lamenting the shortage of sane, eligible, dependable black men in the 1990's dating scene. If the point was to make me disgusted with the dating scene, it definitely worked! I wouldn't necessarily recommend running out and buying it right this minute, but you won't regret reading it either.
—Christina
I read this book in high school and I was disgusted! Then in African American Lit class for my junior year, we watched the movie, and I still hated it!But it wasn't until I went to college that the book and its' leading ladies reverberated with my soul and outlook on men, life, and love!One of my friends, who is Hispanic, said the book was stupid! And I and every other black woman looked at her and said she was crazy as hell! And I vehemently told her she'll NEVER experience what Black women feel and deal with!Yes, I was blind as a teenager, never dating and/or dealing with men until college, but damnit, I see now! I finally experienced what Robin had felt, feeling uneasy in your expensive jewelry and designer clothes fit for a fancy restaurant (which was supposed to be the venue) at a party full of sex, drug and alcohol addicts.I finally experienced what Gloria was going through, trying so hard to be perfect for a man that doesn't want you and damn near killing yourself in the process!I finally experienced Savannah's quest for more in life and more from a Black man, not making any more foolish choices or listening to anymore empty broken promises.And yes, I finally experienced Bernadine's anger after having a Black man tell me that what I wouldn't "put out" could be easily gotten from a white girl... I had already re-read the book before this conversation took place (it was on a friend's shelf) and my mind was made up then, but to hear ignorance being expounded upon from one who will never know what Terry McMillian so eloquently captured in words is the reason why this book is SO important!I'll be the first to tell you that I am not a major advocate for Black novel/romance, for they tend to dwell on the superficial, glorify homophobia and the negative of Black life heavily, but this is one time that I must bow down and say, "I stand corrected!"
—Tracey L.H.
This is my third time reading this novel, but luckily so much time passed since the last time I picked this book up, it was like reading it for the first time. The beginning started off sketchy. All of the characters had my side eye ready to explode, but as I delved deeper into the story, I grew closer to them, and better understood their pain and plight. I saw a lot of the old me in all of these women, which at some points made me sad, and at other points made me extremely happy that I'd learned my lesson at an earlier age.McMillan is a hilarious writer and she is fantastic at showing the camaraderie that Black women share within their friendships. That is what I enjoyed most about this book. The meet ups and girls night outs definitely reminded me of how I interact with my friends.A more detailed review will be up at http://weturnthepage.wordpress.com/20...
—Nakia
