Review published here: http://www.hipsterbookclub.com/review...Meg Rosoff's novel What I Was will early on remind readers of John Knowles's classic coming of age tale, A Separate Peace. Both books feature an adult narrator reminiscing about his time as a 16-year-old in a boarding school and the dark events that changed his life forever. Though the similarities are undeniable, Rosoff manages to give her story a unique touch that will haunt the reader long after the final page.Rosoff gives a nod to A Separate Peace on different levels. Her main character, unnamed until the end of the book, looks back on his formative time spent at a stuffy and remote English boarding school during the 1960s. During this period, H. (as he'll be referred to here), forms an unusual relationship with an extraordinary boy who is everything the narrator wishes to be. Like Knowles's book, What I Was is a story about questioned identity, innocence lost, and how we become who we are.Already having been dismissed from two schools for lackluster performance and general apathy, H. instantly feels suffocated by the strict rules and conventions at his new school, St. Oswald's. His teenage angst can be almost unbearable to an adult reader who is never really enlightened as to why the boy harbors such ennui and hostility. Once H. realizes that St. Oswald's low standards would make dismissal from a third school difficult, he submits to coasting along, keeping his head down and mouth shut, and following the same pattern of mediocrity that is expected of him.Adolescence is a trying time at best, but H.'s malaise exceeds normal teenage discontent and at first distances him from the reader. For example, his poor treatment of a lonely fellow student desperate for friendship is off-putting. The mild dislike readers may feel for the protagonist doesn't seem to be a mistake by the author however. One could assume that these character flaws purposely show the naivety of a young boy who hasn't yet realized the world doesn't revolve around himself. It ultimately shows how we can become so wrapped up in ourselves, or someone else, that we selfishly forget the world around us.This fog of melancholy envelopes the book from the first page to the last word, but the heavy mood provides an almost Gothic feel to the book. This is most evident in the magically-described setting. St. Oswald's is a dreary Victorian structure resembling a prison engulfed by misty fog so thick that when H. and his father arrive for the first time they "might have driven off England and into the sea if not for a boy waving a torch in bored zigzags by the school entrance." The featureless corridors and dark courtyards seem designed to "starve the human spirit." These miserable surroundings are a stark contrast to the spellbinding world of crashing waves and green marshes H. discovers when he meets a remarkable stranger.An ordinary day turns extraordinary when H. accidentally encounters a boy his age secretly living alone in an abandoned fisherman's hut off the coast, unbeknownst to the rest of the world. The quiet and peculiar boy is beautiful, athletic, clever, and most of all independent—everything H. is not. His name, whether ironically or deliberately, is Finn—like Finny from A Separate Peace. And like the fascinating Finny of Knowles's book, Finn evokes a sense of envy from the protagonist: He looked impossibly familiar, like a fantasy version of myself, with the face I had always hoped would look back at me from a mirror. The bright, flickering quality of his skin reminded me of the surface of the sea. He was almost unbearably beautiful and I had to turn away, overcome with pleasure and longing and a realization of life's desperate unfairness.H. is immediately drawn to the drastic contrast of Finn and his world. While H. has rules, academics, and structure, Finn has none of those. Instead, he takes his lessons from the nature around him and a shelf of old books he has read and re-read over the years. His exotic lifestyle of absolute freedom and his awkward detached personality captivate H., who becomes absorbed in forging a friendship between them, to the point of obsession.Rosoff never spells out whether H.'s attraction to Finn is sexual or romantic in nature, instead leaving it to the reader to interpret. It is clear, though, that H. begins to question his identity and becomes dependent on Finn for his own happiness. His infatuation with Finn gives H. a new purpose but also consumes him entirely. His disregard for the rest of the world eventually takes a toll and leads to tragic consequences for all involved.The intense story is short but expertly paced, neither drawn out nor rushed. Rosoff strikes an ideal balance between the serious tone and heavy emotions, and the mystery and excitement surrounding Finn. The book may not leave readers in particularly high spirits—hard lessons are never easily learned—but the haunting story has its own strange beauty. Rosoff not only draws readers into the story but shuts out the outside world so that readers feel as though they've been dropped into gloomy St. Oswald's or Finn's magical hut alongside the narrator. This beautifully structured and poignant story may take a few cues from its predecessors, but it certainly has enough qualities to stand on its own as a heartbreaking tale about the pains of growing up.
(Original review posted on my livejournal account: http://intoyourlungs.livejournal.com/...)Why I Read It: I read Rosoff's award-winning How I Live Now a few years ago and while I didn't fall head-over--heels in love with it, I still LIKED it and have been curious to check out her other works. This went on sale at work for $2 for the hardcover (!!!) AND I get 30% off on top of that so I couldn't resist picking this title up. It's languished in my TBR for too long, so I finally picked up and gave it a go. This review has no spoilers, so if that's something that bothers you, fear not.The first thing that really struck me about this book is the writing; it's absolutely gorgeous and very lush. Rosoff was smart as well in that she makes it clear from the beginning that the narrator of the story is very old (like over a hundred or something) and is reflecting on this story that he's telling us, so it makes perfect sense that he's voice sounds so mature. You may have noticed that I tagged this book as 'literary fiction', and while I'm usually uncomfortable using that term (what makes fiction LITERARY anyway?) it felt appropriate here; the prose really does elevate it to another plain that YA rarely treads (actually, most people see YA and literary fiction as diametrically opposed -- I beg to differ) and I actually wouldn't be at all surprised to find this book in the General Fiction (AKA the 'Adult Section') of stores.Thank God for the beautiful writing though, because this book was sort of dull. It's very, VERY character-centric with a huge focus on the narrator's thoughts and feelings (as it's from his point of view) and Finn. The novel mostly follows these two as the narrator keeps sneaking out of his boarding school to have clandestine visits with Finn whom he feels attracted to, the reasons for which are ambiguous: is it because he wants to live like Finn, away from boarding school and on his own? or are they romantic feelings? It's never explicitly stated and I'm perfectly fine with that, but not a whole lot else happens throughout the novel.With all this focus on the two main characters though, it does lend them to be very fleshed out and complex. Finn was always a mystery to me though. Being raised by just your grandmother in a shack by the sea would make you an odd duck I suppose, but I could seriously never figure him out (which I suppose is the point) which made it hard to connect with him on any level. The magnetism that the narrator feels for Finn was complex and I liked how Rosoff brought attention to that, as I mentioned above. Reading about that attraction was compelling in a way, though I can see it not being to everyone's taste.This being told from a future version of the narrator, you know he's telling the story for a reason and that some kind of cataclysmic event is going to happen that's going to unravel everything. I've read some reviews where people have claimed that they saw the twist coming from a mile away, but this was definitely not the case for me; it felt like it came totally from left-field. It was congruous with everything else that had happened in the novel though, so I'm not saying it was contrived either, but it did feel like a slap in the face. I'm not going to say much more because I really don't want to spoil it, but I was a little disappointed with how it was handled -- it ended up being such a BIG subject but it felt like it was tacked on at the end and not really explored (or if it was, it was too subtle for me to really notice and grasp.) I will give it that it's an ending I won't soon forget though.Final Verdict: This is another case of LIKE and not LOVE for me, but I still really want to try another one of Rosoff's work (especially There Is No Dog) to really solidify my opinion on her. The two books I've read by her are very nuanced, beautifully written, and acknowledge the complexities of feelings and relationships and I like that, but there's also not a whole lot that HAPPENS in her books, which bores me a little bit. However she's a very gifted writer and her beautiful prose keeps my eyes glued to the page and wanting more, so she makes up for the lack of Things Happening with that. I also always have a sense that I'm Missing Something, which could be what's keeping me from loving these books. Either way, I recommend her with reservations, because I see people (and know people) who love her work, but I can just as easily see this not being everyone's cup of tea.
What do You think about What I Was (2008)?
My favorite Meg Rosoff book so far. How I Live Now was good, but I was stunned by this one. From the dust jacket annotation I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to buy the plot, but once I started the story I found it perfectly plausible. The twist ending is something I hadn't seen coming, which is unusual -- usually I guess surprise endings ahead of time, which is kind of a drag. Best of all is the atmosphere of the story. From Rosoff's descriptions I could practically see the North Sea fog and feel the cold of the icy waters and the unheated school.This book won't appeal to people who need a lot of action in their stories -- it's more your typical English novel, moving sedately along. But if you go for that sort of thing -- and I do, sometimes -- I HIGHLY recommend this.
—Meaghan
A Melancholy Separate Go-BetweenIt's hard not to think of John Knowles's classic "A Separate Peace", or even more, L. P. Hartley's "The Go-Between", while reading this book. That's fine. Melancholy reminiscences about coming of age during some golden or transitional period of English history are a specialty of English writers, (or as in Rosoff's case - adopted English writers), and there are many fine examples.This book falls gently into that category, but it is both more predictable and yet more idiosyncratic than you might expect. As required, the pace is sedate; the tone is chilly. Our hero/narrator is self-centered in an age appropriate manner, (both as a youth and as an old man), and his powers of observation are both probing and yet myopic. He sees and relates much more than he understands. He is adrift, both metaphorically and, toward the end of the book, literally.Here's the thing. This is, on one level, a book with a plot, characters and a story. But not a lot of effort has been put into that. On another level it is a book of ideas. Some of those ideas are shallow and out of place - global warming? - and some are very interesting - the fluidity of sexual identity, the nature of sexual yearning, friendship, love, and so on. In fact, many of the ideas are just sparked off with a line or two before the writer and reader move on. Finally, this is a book of metaphors, of indirection, and of suggested possibilities. Lots of things happen during the course of this fairly brief work, and some of it feels very realistic and some of it is dreamy, hyperbolic, and intentionally vague.This can be maddening, rewarding, entertaining or annoying depending on the reader's mood and inclinations. I liked it mostly because it was playful and just a bit ironic, and not too impressed with itself. I liked it because it was interesting and because the author tried to do something new with old cloth. What more can you ask for?
—Pop Bop
I am generally unfamiliar with Rosoff's works. I picked this up on the clearance rack at Garden Ridge last year, and finally got around to reading it. As a story of a teen seeking to break away from the shackles and constructs of a middle class life that left much to be desired in the way of intellectual and emotional freedom, it was an interesting read. Finn served as a catalyst for the protagonist's decision to reach for the individuality for which he so yearned. His obsession with Finn was more of an obsession with the freedom Finn represented than with the character.As a story of youthful love and friendship, I found it uncomfortable. The protagonist was totally unrelatable in his obsession with Finn. For much if the novel, the author leads us to believe that this is a young boy yearning for the attentions of another boy, and I do not know a teenage male that will allow thoughts of another teenage male preoccupy is mind in the manner that the protagonist allowed Finn to occupy his mind. Though I recognize that it is more of a lusting after what Finn represents than anything else, I found their relationship dynamic to be odd, to say the least. Furthermore, I felt that the plot developed far too slowly. It takes nearly 3/4 of the book for the author to move to story past one of awkward sexual/social tension. The conclusion left much to be desired. I was left wondering about not only what became of Finn, but also what becomes of our protagonist, though he makes an attempt to expound upon his later life. I appreciate stories that employ metaphor and depth, but this one was lacking.3 stars.
—Jonathan Winskie
