It’s late and I’m thinking of things I should leave alone. The steady pelts of rain against my windowsill are the only comfort I seek. Joey loved the rain, almost as much as he loved me. Now that he’s gone, the rain is the only thing that brings me peace. Slipping one of his old flannels over my camisole and panties I pad across the apartment stepping out on the covered balcony. The damp breeze blows my hair around my face. I take a seat in the wooden rocker, putting my knees up, and resting my chin on the tops. I feel stupid for thinking of Cam in a sexual manner. My fantasies are keeping me awake. I sit and listen as the rain continues to fall. Seeking silence, seeking an escape from all that Joey and me shared. Some days I think I should just pack up and go, but then I catch a glimpse of my neighbor, Joey’s brother—Cam. When look at him…I feel like I am catching a glimpse of the man I loved, and I can’t bring myself to leave. He looks so much like him but they are nothing alike.
