‘G’day,’ said the wholesaler on the other end of the phone. ‘This is Keith Shipley from the Paradise Fish Bar in Orchid Cove,’ said Keith, ‘and I’m in a phone box so I can’t talk for long.’ ‘Do you want to place an order?’ asked the wholesaler. ‘No,’ said Keith, ‘I want to ask a favour.’ ‘I’m listening,’ said the wholesaler. ‘Well,’ said Keith, ‘our shop’s operating in a pretty cutthroat business environment up here at the moment what with the new resort up the road and the new snack bar in the pub and it’s really hard to make enough profit which is putting a serious strain on Mum and Dad plus we’re living in a small house with really thin walls so they can’t even have sex that much so I was wondering if you could lower the price of your flour and oil a bit.’ There was a long pause at the other end. ‘Is this a joke?’ asked the wholesaler finally. Don’t be ridiculous, thought Keith. How could it be a joke? It’s not even funny. ‘It’s an emergency,’ said Keith, ‘honest.’ ‘Look,’ said the wholesaler, ‘I’m operating in a pretty cutthroat business environment down here too.
