To be strictly accurate, they came to her when she was awake, lying in bed with her eyes closed not wanting to get up yet. Either way, bed was a place of creative genius for her. And so it happened on this particular day, as she snuggled beneath her doona, that Nanny Piggins was struck with wonde...
She was making a decision, a very important decision. Nanny Piggins had come into a windfall. Her Great Aunty Doris had sent her ten dollars for her birthday. It wasn’t Nanny Piggins’ birthday, but Aunty Doris believed in celebrating all her relatives’ birthdays on the same day (the way people do...
‘Ow,’ said Friday as she gingerly got of bed. ‘Exercise is bad enough when you’re doing it, but it hurts afterwards as well. Indeed, from my observation, it hurts more on the third day than it does on the first.’ ‘I know,’ agreed Melanie. ‘It’s a wonder fit people manage to walk at all.’ ‘I imagi...
‘Please don’t jump!’ begged Derrick. ‘Ung-uhuh-boohoo-hoo,’ sobbed Boris. The children and Boris were standing in the middle of the backyard looking up at the roof, where Nanny Piggins stood on the ridgepole with her arms raised, sniffing the breeze...
She and Friday were standing in their own dorm room. ‘That’s right,’ whispered Friday. ‘But I just bumped into another girl coming out of that room,’ said Melanie. ‘A short, dowdy girl with dark brown hair, wearing a misshapen blue cardigan.’ ‘No, that’s the other new girl. They’re roommates,’ sa...
For once she was not her usual glamorous self. She had mud smeared on her face, hair and Chanel satin dress. She had sweat on her brow. And she was cross. ‘Can we get you anything?’ asked Derrick. The children were standing at the top of the trench,...
‘Right, pass me the nail gun,’ instructed Nanny Piggins. ‘You know Santa Claus is not a bad person,’ said Michael, handing it to her. ‘I know that,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!’ went the nail gun. ‘No-one likes getting presents from strangers more than me,’ continued Nanny Piggin...
They read it in an unusual way. After Nanny Piggins finished a page she would tear it out and hand it to Derrick who read it and handed it to Samantha, who read it and handed it to Michael. They often enjoyed books this way – they found it saved arguments (and the subsequent wrestling matches) ov...
They were surprised for two reasons. First, in the entire time they had been at school they had never, not once, been picked up by their father. (Not even the day their mother had gone missing in that mysterious boating accident. Even then he let them catch the bus home before breaking the terrib...
Which involved crawling under hedges, around garbage bins and over fences as they stalked the postman. When they caught him they were going to scalp him. I know it sounds gruesome, but the postman did not mind because they never actually scalped him, they just gave him a very short haircut. Plus ...
I’m astounded that you have not been locked in high-security institutions for the criminally stupid,’ yelled Nanny Piggins. She was preparing for the mayoral debate – a televised event that took place before each election. Normally candidates would present their own policies and point out inadequ...
Friday looked about at the school buildings and was pleasantly surprised. It looked very nice. The administration block was a brand new building and through a gaudy use of primary colours it looked quite cheerful. ‘This school looks nice,’ said Friday. ‘I was expecting it to be old and rundown.’ ...