“Whit hiv Ah telt ye, Wilson? Jist ignore them and they’ll ignore you,” Ding-dong, wan ae the screws, who wis always permanently attached tae the wee clutch ae stoat-the-baws, advised. Alang wae Robert The Beast and Peter the Pervert, who wis daeing seven years fur ra...
“Helen, ur ye saft or whit? How wid ye get oot tae Polmont and back tae support Issie and Stan in time? Ye’ll jist hiv tae get used tae the idea that yer wee spotty-arsed boy-child is noo a man and responsible fur his ain actions. Christ, don’t even think ae turning up and gieing him a show...
Senga asked him, feeling nervous as she looked intae they sky blue eyes ae his when he arrived at the table. “Ah’m fine noo,” he replied, smiling, gieing her a wee peck and a cuddle before sitting doon under the watchful eyes ae The Tormentor and Dickheid Dick. “Ye smell ...
“Not just any old engine, Paul. This is an original 7-9hp Kelvin petrol engine. One of the finest engines ever made. It’s known as the Fisherman’s Friend by all the fishermen who sailed up and down the West Coast of Scotland,” Innes hid said, in a revered voice, gaun aw misty-eyed, as he gen...
“Come oan, Betty, where ur ye?” Helen said tae hersel fur the umpteenth time in the last forty five minutes. Betty hid been gone fur o’er an hour so Helen assumed that it must be a no-goer. How the hell did they keep managing tae get themsels intae this situation, time a...
“That bloody stuck-up bitch, Maggie Tin Knickers. Imagine her trying tae tell somewan like me that she knew how Ah wis feeling and that Ah’d jist need tae get that arse ae mine in gear meantime and wait and see whit’s gonnae happen wance Ah go up tae court in two weeks time.” ...
“Fuck’s sake, Taylor, did we gie ye a fright then?” the screw hid guffawed, as the bun boy behind him scooped a couple ae ladles ae tea fae the urn oan wheels intae Johnboy’s plastic mug, before haunin it across wae a stale bun. Johnboy hid instantly been disappointed....