51 Shades Of Maggie, Liverpool Style (2014) - Plot & Excerpts
Big Sally-Ann got me forty fags off some fella who was only back from a cigarette run to Benidorm. He was stompin about like the Pied Piper of Toxteth, with a trail a nicotine addicts behind him, hopin he’d drop a fag or two. Fags mean power in Toxteth. Me an Big Sally-Ann were hopin to get away on a run ourselves if we could get the money up an I was thinkin about how we could get some cash when she told me that she’d tried to shag your man an he’d said, ‘Naaaaaah.’ Then she’d said to him, ‘Will you not just give me a touchy-feely-no-putty-inny?’ An he’d still said, ‘Naaaaah,’ so she was ragin the rest of the week. She doesn’t like anybody sayin no to her. Then I got a text from Mr Big on my new iPhone sayin to come to his flat to talk about the contract. So I said to myself … Right I’m tellin him if he wants me, he’ll have to drop the contract, I’m not gettin beaten up by some pervy bastard, even if he is gorgeous in those chinos.
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