The loss of him is an echoing void inside me. I don’t know how a person can withstand this much pain. It shouldn’t be possible. I want him with a ferocity that shocks me. I can’t think of anything else. I just cut him away and yet he consumes me, every broken, bleeding part of me. It’s all his. Out of habit, I reach for my phone in my pocket and find nothing. I’d left it at Logan’s, somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. Left it like I’d left him. That small thing, the loss of even that contact with him, the memories, the old messages stored in my phone, wrecks me. Suddenly I’m shaking with silent sobs, my body jerking and shuddering, but no tears fall. Maybe there aren’t any left. Maybe I’d used them all on him. I didn’t deserve them.
What do You think about A More Deserving Blackness?
