I was the one who’d been raised to face battles like this, who’d trained for it. And now I was cringing up here while Haru put his life on the line—for Chiyo, for the mountain, for my home. What was I so scared of? The memory of that cold gaping darkness still made my chest clench up. But so did the thought of living just a few more days only to watch Fuji’s fire spill down, knowing thousands of humans and kami were dead and I hadn’t even tried to stop it. I didn’t like being this weak, cringing thing. Maybe I wasn’t kami, maybe I wasn’t so strong after all, but I wasn’t completely helpless. I could do what was right. I forced my legs to move, propelling myself toward the far end of the walkway. My muscles felt heavy. Perspiration beaded on my forehead. I kept walking, faster, almost jogging now. My heart was beating at the back of my mouth, my stomach churning, but the idea of seeing Haru fall was so much worse.
