I tossed and turned. I stared at the ceiling. I pounded on my pillow. But nothing helped. Christmas was coming faster than an avalanche, and I wouldn’t be ready. What would I do on Christmas Eve with no where to go? What would I tell the reindeer? Worst of all, what would I tell the children? When the sun finally came up I dragged myself into the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. The Missus was sitting at the table, frowning into space as if I wasn’t even there. Suddenly she looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “You have to talk to the Elves right now,” she snapped. “You’ll have to go straight to their village,” she went on before I could say a word. “Explain to them that what today’s kids want most of all are electronic toys,” she went on before I could say a word. “Tell them to shape up! Get with the program!” I shook my head sadly. “I don’t think it will work. You should have seen how upset they were yesterday when that techie tried to tell them how to make newfangled toys.”
