But fall days are unpredictable, and Ella said they’d have large tents set up to shield the partygoers from the elements. Joel apparently had been working on shucking corn all day with his frat buddies. They’d also been hitting the keg early, and Joel was napping before the big party. I figured this was the night I needed to get my shit together—take back control of my life. Bennett had too much of a hold on my thoughts and fantasies, and I needed a reality check. I’d gotten to a point in my life where I was content. I worked hard, attended classes, and had good friends. When I was horny I called Rob or picked up guys at parties or bars and made out with them, let them feel me up, or let them get me off. It made me feel desirable and a little less solitary for that short period of time. Plus, I played by my own rules. I was in control. Simple as that. I didn’t need anything more complicated. Besides, it was now blatantly obvious that Bennett was done with me as well.
