Among The Dead And Dreaming (2016) - Plot & Excerpts
I scramble into the low dunes crisscrossed with rickety erosion fences, thinking she might be leaning against one of those, or maybe lying in one of the depressions, but she’s not, and I haven’t checked the coffee shops or restaurants where she could be reading or eating lunch, because she could be anywhere, and in my head begging—please, please, please—not even noticing it most of the time, just, please, please, please—trying to believe in god and not believing, because I’ve never believed, never once even considered believing in something that’s so much about trying to believe in itself, something that’s always felt like a magic trick, a hidden door finally opening to nothing when you completely surrender to the delusion. But trying to believe anyway, promising anything. I’ll do anything. Remembering how her hair grew in dark like mine after her reddish baby hair fell out, thinking that mark on her of Cash would be gone forever, remembering the relief I felt after dropping her at Interlochen—as though I’d gotten away with something—and not needing to make any promises then, because I would deal with Burke alone and Alina would stay safe in Michigan and there would be no way for him to find out about her, but promising now anything—I’ll do anything if you give her back to me.
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