I wish he had waited about ten years before writing a book.Ten years from now, Jay Onrait would be able to give us the view from States side. Ten years from now, he would have more stories in his arsenal, so he could include fewer stories about his bodily fluids. Ten years from now he might have learned to look less in the mirror and more outside of himself.I believe when Jay Onrait was writing this book, he didn't envision 51-year-old suburban moms as his potential audience. I believe that because the best audience for this book is: (1) male, and (2) younger than I am.That's fair; he is a sportscaster, after all.In my household though, I rival other family members in the sports fanaticism department. There's a time in May when French Open tennis, NHL hockey, ML baseball AND curling all happen at the same time; I barely leave my couch. Before Jay Onrait, Dan O'Toole and Producer Tim moved to the States, my son and I watched the re-play of their version of SportCentre on TSN every morning. We watched because we wanted the highlights, and they entertained us with their comedic delivery. (And I could look at Dan O'Toole's face all day long.) When I heard that Jay Onrait had a book, it went on my Christmas list. Mine, not my husband's or my son's. Jay Onrait was stuck with a 51-year-old suburban mom as his audience.As I read, I had the same reaction I had to Kelly Oxford's book, Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar. It's not a bad book. I can't give it a negative review. It's just not the right book for me. (I wasn't surprised to see her mentioned in the Afterword. I knew they were connected somehow.)I started out with plenty of hope. Onrait was a Gary Carter and Montreal Expos fan, so we had that in common. We share an appreciation for the glory years of the Edmonton Oilers, so that was good, too. And he is, after all, "Canadian!" But why, oh why, do people feel their "I got so wasted" stories are in any way unique and interesting? They are neither. Even when the story is "I got so wasted at the Olympics," it's still not unique or interesting. Especially when the wastee is too (a) drunk, (b) lacking in common sense, and (c) busy riding on the coattails of the network to take personal responsibility for his actions. Disappointing.I experienced minor heart palpitations when Onrait revealed his complete ignorance about Craig Kielburger. To be fair, sports and humour are Onrait's business not humanitarian work, but Kielburger is one of my personal heroes and an exceptional Canadian. It disappointed me that sentences involving bodily fluids outnumbered those about Kielburger by about 1276 to 8. (And the first number doesn't include images conjured by the activities behind Hooker Harvey's.)I have to disagree with Onrait on one other very important point: Felching is not funny. Nope. Not under any circumstances. Never. Yuck. (Look it up.)On page 11, Onrait writes: "I'm kind of an asshole." He proves this point from time to time through his stories, but his human decency does shine through the cracks of asshole-ishness. He has potential for something better. In about ten years, Jay Onrait will be able to tell us how he survived "successful-Canadian guilt" after his move to the United States. In about ten years, he'll have more stories to tell, so we won't have to know about his bodily functions. In about ten years, he will have met a humanitarian or two, so we'll see more of the decent, non-asshole "Canadian!" that hides beneath the Jay Onrait public persona.In about ten years, if Jay Onrait writes another book, I hope he pictures 51-year-old suburban moms reading it. It would be a better book. Jay Onrait is an ass. The good news is that he is quick to establish this early in his book so that you as the reader were given ample warning and is ultimately disavowed from using the fact that he's an ass as a reason you didn't like the story.At least, that's how it's supposed to work.The value of this book depends upon the reasons in which you bought it and whether or not you bought into his schtick prior to the purchase.If you bought it because you're a fan of Jay Onrait and wanted a larger taste of his absurd, frat-boy comedic humour, then this book doesn't disappoint in the slightest. Mostly because it shares a number of stories that are hilariously regaled but are also not-safe-for-work. Basically this book are the stories he can't share to his adoring public without possibly getting lynched by his higher-ups and providing a truer vision of his humour that isn't toned down by television broadcasting standards rules and regulations.However, if you purchased this book with the hope of gaining some insight on working in the notoriously competitive and insular world of sports broadcasting and media in Canada, then you just wasted your time and your money.There are some pointers and perspectives on how working in this industry works and how best to get a job within it such as the constant interning, creating connections and the art of building a demo tape. But I found the recommendations to have been few and far between, and in some cases, you almost had to already be in the industry in order to identify the hints of how things are done.But then again, Onrait never sold this book as a 'how-tos of working in sports media' so you cannot fault him for not providing enough information. For one, it's too serious of a topic for a guy that does not take himself seriously.The book as a whole screams don't take my shit seriously. Almost literally... or rather, literally. Onrait has a rather unique perspective on his role in sports broadcasting, mostly because his road to sports was a hugely unique brand that for the most part will never be charted again. He doesn't touch on a single incident with any sort of levity; each story he told is heavily influenced by his own form of self-deprecating humour. But that in some ways is the road he walked to get to where he is now.But here's the thing; while I did have some laugh out loud moments in places in the book, ultimately, I quickly tired of the schtick that launched his name and career in Canada and made for a fairly successful introduction to the book. But ultimately, this book was too much schtick, and the lack of balance between the story-telling and the jokes left the book feeling shallow, as if there wasn't much there.As for the frat-boy humour, and while those kind of jokes work great over a glass of beer - a tone that Onrait seemed to have channeled while crafting this piece - in some ways it was too frat-boy, to the point where the humour got lost in its own juvenile nature.It was actually kind of annoying at points in fact.And ultimately the only thing that separated Onrait's adventures from your frat-friends on a Saturday night is that it was Jay Onrait doing it with his own brand of absurdity and in exotic locales that isn't the local watering hole. Meaning that it's a story that has more or less been told a thousand times already, to the point that it has lost its significance.I bought this book on a shit and a giggle - I had no real motives when I picked this up. Really the idea was that I was looking for something that was different than what I normally read.I succeed on the 'different' part at least. And it gave me a giggle. But I can't say that I'd read this again if given the choice.
What do You think about Anchorboy (2013)?
Extremely funny at times, well worth the time it took to read it.
—SamanthaT
Alright Jay, good work, now get Dan to publish his pamphlet.
—neha
As funny as SportscentreCome back to Canada or give us Fox1
—kristen
Really funny. Worth a read even if you're not a sports fan.
—Strader4939
