It was making everyone crazy, just like the wind was making me crazy. In the kitchen, I put on the kettle for tea. As it came to a boil, a plume of steam shot up, loud and seething. It was a metaphor for everything and everyone around me. I had had it up to here with austerity and misery. It wasn’t the fasts that irked me anymore—in fact I could now stretch out a bun and a tea and make it feel like a four-course meal—it was the constant and oppressive solemnity. I kept checking the calendar and counting the days to the end of Lent. The divine office that I had loved so much had lost the joy that had initially inspired me. I privately began referring to the “Te Deum” as “the Tedium.” The psalms of David that previously had been moving in their eloquence and sonnet-like lyricism now sounded whiny, and I had to bite back the urge to wish David would “man up.” The routine and repetition were getting to me, too.
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