for “Love” in thepopular songs, it would come nearer the truth. —Sylvia Plath The first lust I remember with clarity was the lust to have a baby. I was just a teenager, and I was obsessed with the idea that surely I could do a better job of parenting than my parents had done. The first problem with their method, of course, was that they were both involved in the first place, because that had only ended in disaster for everyone. Clearly, they didn’t know what they were doing. I remember thinking very specifically, with teen hubris, I could be a single mother. I might even adopt a kid. Yep, that would be awesome, just me and my kid, rolling through life. It was one of those fantasies I had, and although I never became a teen parent, it stirred something in me—a kind of deep longing to fill a void. I lusted for it. After a lifetime of lusts, I know something about the subject. In fact, it’s been one of my personal demons to battle: my lusty nature, which has sometimes served me well, and sometimes gotten me in trouble.
