"Mr. Norman knows that you would want to wait until after Bear v. Shark II, of course. You could electrocute yourself easily enough, it seems. There's electricity everywhere. A woman on the Television clutching a bag of groceries tells the reporter that sharks are, like, 90 percent teeth. Curtis says, 'It was on the Internet. Some professor had a Web site. He turned out not to be a professor, just a fisherman who reads a lot, but I think his point about ethos still holds.' The waitress says, 'It's mostly cow.'The Normans order BearBurgers. And Sharky Temples for the kids.Curtis says, 'Can you pass the sugar substitute?'A guy on the Television wearing a bike helmet and a blood-soaked shirt says that bears are as fast as cougars. Matthew says, 'What you have to remember is that a person who reads the Sunday New York Times gets more information than a French villager in the eighteenth century got in his whole lifetime.' Mrs. Norman says, 'Their whole lifetime.'The head-jerking funny-eyed guy in the next booth says, 'Yes, but people are living longer now.' Mr. Norman, there was always carbon monoxide, says, 'Where did you hear that information?' Matthew says, 'Some show on French villagers. Turns out they had real problems with gum disease.' Mrs. Norman says, 'The way I heard it was that a person who habitually reads newspapers knows more, in essence, than an eighteenth-century French person.' Curtis says, 'The point is that it's hard to know what to believe.' Matthew says, 'No, the point is that there is a lot of stuff to believe.' Mr. Norman says, 'Isn't the point that you shouldn't believe anything?' The waitress says, 'Aren't those all the same point?'The reporter on the Television says, 'Back to you, Derek.'"
Not as good as U.S, this is is some ways maybe a more interesting book, if you like that kind of thing. I mean, it's nakedly didactic in ways the other novel is not, and it never loses sight of its end goal (or nearly never-- maybe we could no more about TeleLand or whatever it is, if people can usefully resist-- but that's a pretty minor sideline). ]What makes it interesting? Well, there are these sustained and therefore more noticeable stylistic innovations-- look at "7 second delay" for example, and try not to be impressed. Like that is Bachelder's ability to trouble the waters of realist dialogue by inserting quotes, from Thoreau or Neil Postman as if they were there.... It's really exciting stuff, if you like that kind of thing (I do).I still think the ending doesn't quite work-- and I don't mean I need to know who won the contest of the title, but I think you, and by you I mean Bachelder, needs to do something else than what he does. But still, a really cool book, and like I said, one that made me a really engaged and thoughtful reader about process, in a way a more polished book doesn't make you wonder. Good stuff, and like I told one of my students today, I don't know why he isn't bigger, why people read Chuck Palahuniak etc when Bachelder is so clearly writing for them....
What do You think about Bear V. Shark (2001)?
Round OneWho would win a fight between a young short-haired chihuahua and a pink fairy armadillo? At first, it seems like an easy win for the natural aggressor, the chihuahua, but like many of its species, the pink fairy armadillo has fantastic defence capabilities with its bony armour shell and knack for burrowing to safety in deserts. The chihuahua might paw and provoke the armadillo for several hours, while the sedentary creature remains still, waiting for the chihuahua to grind its teeth down trying to break through its shell. The chihuahua would then collapse exhausted: victor, the armadillo. Or the chihuahua would easily flip the armadillo onto its back and attack the furry side, leaving the creature unable to burrow to safety in the first few seconds, having its way with the helpful desert mammal and emerging the natural, freak-eared winner. [image error]
—MJ Nicholls
In a future society plagued by surveillance-based on-demand television, a family experiencing all the standard trappings of American life takes a roadtrip to Las Vegas in Bear v. Shark, Chris Bachelder's humorous and ultimately poignant satire. Bachelder's novel asks questions you've probably been considering: what's with the American love of reality television? How much privacy have we got left? Who's invading our homes more, the government or corporate fishing machines? And -- although perhaps you haven't considered this one -- in a fight to the death, who would win: a bear, or a shark? Bachelder's book will make you laugh, and the world he creates is vivid enough to carry an ending that's surprisingly touching while maintaining a sense of being hopelessly inevitable.
—Emily
Bear VEE Shark. (shakes head)This book was insane.Chris Bachelder knows how to build satire. There is an obvious nod to Christopher Moore in the early chapters, there is a taste of Terry Pratchett in the distracted wanderings, there is a beautiful glue that holds the whole thing together like a stroll across the country in an SUV with David Sedaris and a huge bag of illicit drugs and shitty beer.It is the funny cousin of the grim meat-hook future, and I recommend it whole-heartedly. Pass the Bear Jerky and protect your children.
—Tommie
