Nichole is Nikki, Renee’s sister, and the irony of that feels like a punch to the gut because I’m such an idiot. The reason I was originally drawn to Renee was because she reminded me of Nichole, and for a while, Nichole was a girl I couldn’t stop thinking about. If I’d known how hard it would be to get her out of my system, I wouldn’t have sneaked out of her apartment in the middle of the night without getting her last name or her number. But I was too preoccupied. My career was ending and so was my marriage. I could hardly see through the shitstorm swirling around me. It took me a month to wake up to the fact that my need for Nichole wasn’t going away. It was getting stronger. Once I decided I wanted Nichole for more than one night, it felt right. She felt right. Finally, the possibility of something good was on the horizon, but I didn’t have her number. All I could do was turn up at her place and hope she was willing to talk to me. Nearly a month after I walked out of Nichole’s apartment, I stood outside her door, wanting nothing more than to be back inside again.
