This is both unnecessary and undesirable. Use of the F-word and the C-word is particularly abhorrent. In an effort to stamp this out once and for all, and with immediate effect, any member found to be using the F-word or the C-word, or indeed any other swear word, will be required to appear before the General Committee with a view to immediate expulsion from the club. Mr Captain The first two golfers to read the notice were Greg Coleman and Richard Irwin. “Fuck me!” said Coleman. “The cunt!” said Irwin. Fortunately Mr Captain had not been in earshot when the aggrieved pair had uttered the newly-banned expletives. However he was well within earshot on the occasion that eighteen handicapper Bradley Tomkinson leapt in the air in delight and yelled, “A fucking birdie, it's a fucking birdie!” on chipping in from the edge of the second green. For this the unfortunate Tomkinson had been hauled before the committee and handed a final warning. Since then more than a dozen such final warnings had been issued.
