Charlie And The War Against The Grannies - Plot & Excerpts
I did not like the idea of training. For anything. ‘Hils,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to do any training.’ The next day I started training for the upcoming war. ‘Your training,’ said Hils, ‘will take place in three separate and distinct stages. First, I will show you what sort of weapons the Stinkly Wrinklys are likely to use against you. Second, I will show you how to defend yourself against those weapons. Third, I will show you to how to use the weapons we will be employing against the Stinkly Wrinklys.’ I was already completely confused. ‘I understand exactly everything about what you just said,’ I said. ‘You’re already completely confused, aren’t you?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Outstanding,’ said Hils. ‘What do you think the main weapon the Stinkly Wrinklys will use against us will be?’ said Hils. ‘Rooster brand chilli sauce?’ I said. ‘Negative.’ ‘But they have already used that against us.’ ‘So they probably won’t use it again.’ ‘Is rooster brand chilli sauce a chemical weapon?’ ‘Negative.’ ‘But it has chemicals in it, doesn’t it?’ ‘Affirmative, I suppose.’ ‘Then it must be a chemical weapon.
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