My fingers are numb and I have trouble with my grip. Everything is numb. I’m hollow inside, a vast vacant space lonely with echoes of a future that will never be. Key finally seated in the lock, I give it a turn and push open the door. In trying to protect myself, I’d hurt Boston. I see that now. I’d hurt myself as well, but I’m worried about him. I’ve experienced loss before. I can handle this. I’ll put my life, such as it is, back together and continue on. Dropping my bag on the floor, I lean back against the door, pushing it closed. I’m back on track. Boston distracted me from my plan to concentrate on my education, avoid relationships and make up for lost time. A grating, derisive chuckle fills the room at the realization. I should be happy that my life is back to normal, but it doesn’t feel normal yet. Yesterday’s events come roaring back, washing over me and flooding me with regret. A decision made tends to leave lightness behind. This one leaves me in darkness, wondering if I made the right choice.
