I was lying numbly on the couch in the partial dark staring at the living room ceiling. The only illumination I had was the light from the laptop. It was another failed night. I had told my fiancée earlier that day and pretty much all day, that I was looking forward to having sex with him and he had smiled every time I mentioned it. We even went to bed earlier than normal. We went through our normal routine of getting comfortable and then kissing each other good night. When I reached for him, he told me that he didn’t want to. I promptly grabbed my blanket and headed into the living room to sleep on the couch. This was becoming routine for some reason. Not my sleeping on the couch, but him rejecting my advances. He always complained that we were on “my schedule”. I told him repeatedly that if that were the case, I would have worn him out by now. I guess the older we both got the lower his sex drive got and the higher mine went. And now it here it was 3:30 in the morning and I was listening to music quietly on my laptop trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
