Joan, Mom, Grant hear it / the people, the place has never helped me live. And I’ve had enough of seeing a distant A (didn’t say this out loud) no A, every Sunday—enough already. Make series of photos, snow patterns, little Sara N (6) dancing in snow, beautiful profile, always turning her laughing face away just before I snap and breathing clouds. January Thursday 10 Have not seen Ailsa since Christmas Day in family room. James Joyce / “Araby”: “Gazing up into the darkness I saw myself as a creature driven and derided by vanity; and my eyes burned with anguish and shame.” I realize I have really nothing to offer people / the sadness of it all, lost due to my extreme nervousness of character. And always, foolishly, thinking ahead. January Monday 28–Tuesday 29 At last! Away across the river! 2 bdrm apt. with Fred in Westview Tower, 108 St. #305, split rent $485 a month, phone, cable, everything except parking (who needs it). Good walk to NFT across town the winter city white and cold.
