When Abigail calls in the afternoon to check on the house, and me, I keep her on the phone for longer than usual, telling her about my job with Marta, my upcoming root canal and the work her neighbors across the street have been doing to their property. “You won’t recognize it when you see it next,” I say. “It looks like they’re pulling the entire house down.” I want to ask about Alrick and how she’s gone on with her life without him, but the right words don’t come. She’s never mentioned any other men. Maybe that door is closed for good. I’ve felt strange in my skin since the concert; not any more melancholy than usual, just different. The other times I was with Yunhee and Katie I was too deep inside a grief bubble to really notice anyone else, but this last time I could see more clearly, and that clarity of vision made me feel like Alice in Wonderland, out of step with the peculiar world around me. I don’t feel like that in Oakville as much, but maybe that’s because I never really go anywhere or speak to anyone my age.
