I pushed back the heavy covers—damp with my sweat—and rushed to the bathroom. My stomach was so queasy, I felt like I was about to throw up, but nothing would come out. I felt hungry all the time but every time I tried to eat, I threw up. “This shit is getting old,” I mumbled to my reflection. I looked like hell but I felt even worse, if that was possible. The nightmares were driving me fucking crazy. I couldn’t sleep because I felt like someone was chasing me all the time. I thought my conscience died with my former lover, but I was obviously wrong. I was disgusted with the weakness I was showing. I had dark circles under my eyes and my whole face appeared sunken in. I pushed away from the mirror. I refused to spend another second looking at my tired reflection. I couldn’t wait for my cruise to start. I needed the fresh start so I could get my head on straight and get back to the business of making money. I was scheduled to leave in a few days for New York, and I hadn’t done a lick of shopping.
