All his life he'd trusted his gut. If he felt pain, then something had to change. So years ago he'd walked out on his parents, and now he had a good job, a good home, a good life. All in all, a good decision. Except he didn't feel so good right now. He couldn't shake the thought that Su Ling's refusal to break with her family, to stick by them through the good and bad, gave her something he'd lost in his adolescence. Misguided or not, her family would go through hell, even brave a potential drug-dealing psychotic to protect one another. Wasn't that worth preserving? He'd told himself that no woman, not even Su Ling, was worth this agony. He'd repeated it a million times as he tried to focus on the wonderful life he had without her. But every time he told himself, the words sounded hollow. As if a part of him were missing. As if she brought him something he hadn't had in a long time. But what? He mulled over their times together—the best and the worst—and he nearly laughed out loud at his stupidity.
