Basil and I stood staring at each other like a couple of lobsters caught in the same pot. ‘What the devil are you doing here?’ I demanded. ‘Dressed up like that?’ ‘Exactly the same, dear chappie,’ he replied very affably, ‘might I ask you.’ ‘But I’m the ship’s doctor!’ ‘And I’m the ship’s steward. Or at least, one of them. There’s a good dozen sharing my cabin down below for a start. Still, that’s nothing after provincial dressing-rooms. But my dear Grim! What a delightful surprise to meet you. And what an amazing coincidence. How’s the cut of my white jacket? I picked it up yesterday from the theatrical costumier’s.’ I grabbed the hospital door handle. ‘I – I’ve got a difficult patient in here,’ I said quickly. ‘Hysterical female, you know.’ ‘How terribly exciting for you.’ ‘Just give me a moment to get rid of her.’ ‘But of course.’ ‘And we’ll settle down to a nice cosy chat.’ I slipped inside the hospital. ‘Darling,’ said Ophelia, ‘you don’t use these saw things on people, surely?’ I seized her arm.
