Fighting To Be Free By Kirsty Moseley - Plot & Excerpts
I could feel the depression pulling at the edges of my system and I really wanted to see Ellie so I could think about something else. It scared me how much I needed her, I had never needed anyone in my life, I made sure I could take care of myself, I worked hard so that I never had to rely on anyone then I would never get let down. If I didn’t depend on anyone then I wouldn’t have to feel the rejection and disappointment when they screwed up or gave up on me. I had learnt at an early age that the only one I could depend on was myself. In a way I wished I had never met Ellie, that I had just pushed through my life without ever feeling like this, then I would have no one that could hurt me, I wouldn’t have to worry about losing her. But another part of me knew that what I had before Ellie wasn’t a life, it was just an existence where I just cruised through life on a knife edge. One side of the knife was depression and sadness, the other side of the knife was the crime that I used to think was normal.
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