‘First of all, I need volunteers to go out and dig up Granny. We can’t possibly go on holiday without her.’ You might think that no one would offer to dig up a dead body, but the children loved their granny and they all rushed out into the garden and began digging. Of course, being a dog, Satanella usually did all the digging, but when it was Dead-Granny-Digging-Up, everyone insisted on a turn. ‘Be careful, children,’ Mordonna called after them. ‘Granny might be asleep and you know how bits of her can fall off if she gets a sudden shock.’ Since Queen Scratchrot had been buried, quite a few bits of her had fallen off, even without her getting a shock. At first Mordonna had kept them all in a box under the kitchen sink, but then Winchflat had built a special Dead-Granny-Backpack and all the fallen-off bits were kept in its special mould-proof zip-up pockets.7 At some point in the future the family planned to stick all the bits back together again with the famous Doctor Julian Frankenstein’s Amazing Incredible Two-Pack, Low-Fat Corpse Adhesive,8 but for the moment the Queen was quite happy as she was.
