He smoked cigarettes. Christopher Szerba was Catholic. He did not give up smoking cigarettes when he gave up the excess consonants. All the Szerba boys were cigarette-smoking Catholics until my father fell in love with my mother and married her. He quit smoking, converted, and as a result, his semen created two strong Lutheran sons inside her body. Their names were Eric Christopher and Austin Andrzej Szerba. My dad picked up some discarded consonants from the wastepile of history. It is pronounced Uhnn-zhay. Don’t ask me why. It’s Polish and shit. I smoke cigarettes. I hate church. But one day, after I talk to my father about my confusing sexual impulses, I will change my name back to Szczerba. My father’s name was Eric Andrew Szerba. My mother was Connie Kenney before she married him.
What do You think about Grasshopper Jungle (2014)?
