Because airline travel isn’t humiliating enough. Never mind that when you stand in the security line, you have to undress in front of perfect strangers. First you take off your shoes, so you can stand there awkwardly in your bare feet. You lose three inches, but you gain ringworm. Next you have to take off your belt. It is not embarrassing at all to have to lift up your shirt and unfasten your belt, especially if you have to suck in your belly. Not that I would know. I have a belly, of course. I just don’t bother sucking it in. Then you unfasten your belt, and try not to make eye contact with the man in front of you as you slide it slowly through your belt loops. I’ve had dates with less sexual chemistry. Fifty Shades of Delta. Finally you take off your coat and your sweater, stripping down to your T-shirt. Nobody throws any dollar bills at you, and there’s not even a pole. It’s the Terminal A striptease, and believe me, I’ve seen some of those businessmen in line and I know their wheels are going up.
