The amount of self loathing is indescribable. I’ve managed to push away the one good thing to happen to me in my life. The desperation to take it back is all consuming and I’ve had to fight the urge to run downstairs and tell him I didn’t mean it. Really, I didn’t, but I knew it was the only thing I could do. I can’t be tempted by Alex and the possibilities he represents. The biggest one being happiness—or better yet, love—which I sacrifice. All too soon, it’s five o’clock. I’m sitting in the bedroom watching television when I hear Cal talking downstairs. I have to get rid of this foul mood now or Cal will know something is up. And there is no way I want him catching wind of my internal struggle and the reasons behind it. “Hi, Cal,” I say once I get downstairs and find him sitting in the breakfast nook. “Everything work out yesterday?” Leaning down, I give him a small kiss before smiling warmly at him. “Yes, it’s all sorted for now.”
