I PICKED IT UP FROM AMID THE CLUTTER on the bureau top. Perhaps Joe and I would simply go on communicating via notes for the rest of the trip. Have gone over to the hotel with Ada to help her and Maria get Colin up and dressed. He insists on coming to lunch. See you there. By the way, where were you last night? We waited and waited. Love, J. We waited and waited. Love, J. I crumpled the note up and threw it into the wastebasket. “What’s this we stuff, paleface?” I said aloud, and then snapped my lips shut as I felt tears well and sting feebly. No more tears. I was not going to cry anymore. In any case, I did not think there were many more tears left. There seemed to be a vast, cool, dead space inside me. I would operate out of that and go through the remaining days, and then we would go home. When I thought the word, no picture came. I showered and dressed, feeling as stiff and frail as if 243 244 / ANNE RIVERS SIDDONS I had been beaten or was in a wreck of some sort.
