There were several in different shades of red and blue, and she fingered each of them as she reflected. The department store was crowded, and the retail staff had been kept hopping, trying to straighten up the merchandise after each new wave of customers. Carrie used to enjoy Christmas shopping—even with the chaotic hoards of people and the pressure of the approaching deadline. Today, she wasn’t enjoying it at all. She wasn’t sure how to describe the heavy feeling in her gut. It wasn’t grief as she understood it, although it was akin. She missed Henry—she still missed Henry at random times and places—but the pain wasn’t as sharp as she’d feared it would be with all the trappings of Christmas surrounding her. This heavy feeling was different, and it had only intensified as she pushed her way through loud families, laughing groups of friends, and couples. She was supposed to go shopping with Jenn today, but her sister had woken up with a bad cold. Carrie had wanted to use that as an excuse to stay home too, but that felt like a defeat.
