‘The Today Show!’ said the Runt, eyes popping. ‘The Today Show?’ I yelled. ‘Fats!’ said the Runt. My mind did a swan dive. ‘But did you actually see him on The Today Show?’ I asked. ‘Nope,’ said the Runt, ‘but somebody said they saw him disguised as Dr. Jung, and Barbara Walters was interviewing him about some crazy thing called—’ ‘The Anal Mirror. I know all about it.’ ‘They say Barbara was giggling all the time. Hey, Roy, you wanna hear what she does with her mouth.’ ‘Barbara Walters?’ ‘No, Angel. See, she takes her lips and wraps them around my—’ ‘Later,’ I said. ‘First I want to find Fats.’ I knew I’d find him eating, for it was lunchtime, and although he’d been farmed out to the Mt. St. Elsewhere, he’d made some special deal—as he always made some special deal—with Gracie from Dietary and Food which allowed him to eat in the House of God for free.
