How I Found The Perfect Dress (2011) - Plot & Excerpts
All I had to do was convince the gnome. This would be so much easier if you guys were still in the garage, I thought, late that night, as I snuck across the yard with a flashlight from the kitchen junk drawer. Professional closet declutterers like my mom shouldn’t even have junk drawers, it occurred to me, but they probably shouldn’t have lawns full of tacky garden ornaments either. It was almost midnight. Tammy had been asleep for hours. Normally my parents would be in bed too by this time, but from inside the house floated the melodic rise and fall of their argument. They sounded thoroughly distracted, but even so, I tried my best to not make a sound or let the beam of my flashlight hit any windows. I didn’t think any of our neighbors kept guns at home, but if they did, the tragic and embarrassing headline pretty much wrote itself: “Teen Girl Mistaken for Intruder, Shot in Own Yard While Attempting to Converse with Garden Gnomes.” Not the legacy I was planning to leave. In daylight the gnomes looked fake and foolish, but in the dark they seemed different, more natural, like they were actually part of the landscape.
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