It were indeed to be wished that less time was killed. . . . “A LETTER FROM A GENTLEMAN AT BATH,” HOYLE’S COMPLETE HANDBOOK OF GAMES AWAKENINGS PLAYER ONE: You PLAYER TWO: The Bastard Felix After smoking some very strong pot, notice Player Two hasn’t spoken or moved in quite some time. Instead of saying, “[Player Two], are you alright?” Pick up the Beanie Baby your mother gave you for Christmas, the one resting on your bookcase that you don’t know what to do with. What’s a grown woman of twenty-five supposed to do with an adorable small stuffed dog? Throw the adorable small stuffed dog at Player Two and watch his arm shoot up suddenly, just like the catatonic patients’ arms in that sad movie, starring Robert De Niro and Robin Williams, about that hospital where people fell asleep for twenty years. Say, “Felix! Felix! I have an idea for a game!” Sit down and feign catatonia. Say to Player Two, “Now me!” DRINKING GAME #1 PLAYER ONE: You PLAYER TWO: Your college roommate May PLAYER THREE AND FOUR: Two girls from your dorm Meet Players Two through Four at a bar where you accidentally have one too many.
