But business went south, and he made an investment in currency that failed badly, and he was so shaken by his plunging fortune that he considered suicide––and taking his family with him. Increasingly preoccupied with the idea, as the bloody day approached, he began to place a carving knife and an ax along his bedside each evening, apparently prepared to take action in the middle of the night if it came to that. Usually a loving husband and indulgent dad, Beadle was forced to adopt the “most rigid family economy” while attempting to maintain an outward appearance of normalcy, according to friend Stephen Mix Mitchell, who wrote an account of what was soon to be Beadle’s notorious activities.2 It didn’t work. “I am in such a situation” that I can’t provide food, clothing, nor fuel for myself and family, the 52-year-old dad wrote to his friend John Chester in a letter found among a collection of writings by Beadle that may be the most complete personal account ever of the thought processes leading to a family annihilation.3 “Is it not time to die?”
