I wanted to like this book. I wanted to identify with it. Loneliness is something different from depression. I agree. I feel both, and I feel that loneliness has led to depression often in my life. She even states that. Loneliness can cause depression, and depression can cause loneliness. A big part of her loneliness is not having a boyfriend, which I can really relate to. I'm liking it at this point, about 20 pages in. But from there, it all goes off track. She's not depressed, she keeps stating, even though she was once depressed, and went on Zoloft. She got cured. Except when it comes back. But she's just lonely. She wants connection. On and on she goes about all the friends she has and how she has deep conversations with them, and they do incredibly supportive things for her, but she's so lonely. And has no connections. And she's lonely, because she goes home alone, after social events. So, the loneliness is from not having a boyfriend. Except for all the guys she's dated, and pushed away. Anxious much?At this point, I started jumping around. Every place I stopped, she's talking about how she's lonely, not depressed, but then gives examples that are so clearly symptoms of social anxiety and depression, but she's only lonely. Not depressed or anxious. Finally, I jump ahead to the end, where she has revealed that she's actually a closeted lesbian. No wonder she never felt like she could get close to the men she dated, or have deep connection, if she's hiding such a big part of herself!So she comes out, finds a girlfriend, the loneliness gets better, but she's afraid it will come back someday, if the girlfriend leaves her. She knows she should try and make more friends or something, so she's not stuck relying only on the girlfriend, but she never does. Maybe because she actually has social anxiety?In all, this book was terrible. She really did not make the point at all that loneliness and depression/anxiety are different things. I believe they are, but she didn't demonstrate that. She continually described symptoms of depression or anxiety, and the claimed they were just loneliness in her case. Really, it's not a story at all about loneliness, it's about a closeted lesbian with depression and social anxiety who finally starts to feel a bit better when she comes out of the closet and finds a girlfriend, but never really does anything to address her depression or anxiety. I must admit that I only got about half way through this book and felt that I had gotten all that I could out of it. The writing is not bad and the content of the memoir is intriguing.SPOILER ALERT:My only issue that I had with the book is completely buying into the concept of loneliness being a diagnosis in and of itself. White does a good job of developing her progress with loneliness and explores possible roots for it very well. I did find that the content of the book that I finished made me consider the parallel that I felt to her struggle with this issue. It was engaging but slow and I felt that is was beginning to get repetitive by the time I stopped reading.
What do You think about Lonely: A Memoir (2010)?
Fascinating read about a misunderstood issue. Important work. Loneliness comes out of the closet.
—Vampirelle
Interesting premise but not terribly engaging. Took me forever to finish.
—thatcher
Topic on All In The Mind website. Really want to read.
—jake
